SHONA VIXEN

I am Shona

2010-11-23T16:09:00.003Z

Hello great people!! I have a new and revamped home which I am loving more and more each minute, the vision is bigger but I'm so not complaining. The guys at Quartz Marketing worked with me and I commend them for their patience and also understanding the vision....Anyway, see you all there!! www.iamshona.com

Reason 1001 Why I'll always say Obama Rocks!!

2010-08-04T17:15:00.000+01:00

Love that some chose to wear their traditional garb!! Anyway guys watch, enjoy and comment...

A Blues for Nina...tears for Mer-mer

2010-07-13T10:55:00.000+01:00

Video: Nia Long & Larenz Tate’s “Love Jones” Flashback….
- Watch more Entertainment Videos at Vodpod.

If you know me, then you know what my greatest movie of all time is.The poetry, the actors, the humor, everything about this movie I LOVE..so you can guess who was ~~having a groupie moment~~ screaming at her tv, forgiving Larenz Tate for cardinal sin of wearing sunglasses indoors, actually recorded the show just so they can watch this clip...qui moi! Miss Nia Long is killing it in this video, love the short hair and the dress...darn love her whole look!

And in the spirit of awards, *brings all her sister-friends, friends of friends and cousins of cousins on stage*, starts *Chris Brown crying* I would like to thank God,~~*chokes*~~ my fans,~~*chokes*~~ my family,~~*chokes*~~ the Academy, and all those who not only nominated me but voted for to win an Nigerian Blog Award for the second year running. But y'all showed your clear dissatisfaction with my sporadic blogging over the past year because it was a TIE!!..LOL...~~so does that mean I get half an award??..lol..~~

From childhood to adulthood

From pictures with front teeth missing

To my last ever hockey match pictures

I feel a chill down my spine

I remember the laughter

I forget the tantrums

I remember the banana clips

I forget the Tevin Campbell posters

The tears well up in my eyes

I can’t erase the pain

I remember the birthdays

They said calm and loud

Different and yet so alike

I forget being grounded

I remember the long phone calls

I read your short and sweet emails

I cry at the memories

They refer to you in the past tense

The prankster

you pulled the biggest one on me

I have a lump in my throat

Over the past month since my last blog post, I lost some-one very dear to me. I've been referring to her as my childhood friend, but last night as I remembered our memories I realised she wasn't from my childhood but she grew up with me! Its been a week and 3 days since she passed. The pain. It hurts.

Ok I won't get you sad. Let me share...This past Friday evening, I'm at home, hear a noise, it sounds like rain or at least water dripping. Weird. It's coming from outside...I go to check...its vomit..I kid you not its raining vomit! My idiot, nasty neighbour from upstairs is vomitting out through his window and all his vomit is going on my plants! WTF?? I'm repulsed, sickened and dead furious, so I rush upstairs *with a jug of water in my hands* oh yes I fully intended to chuck it in his face as soon as he opened the door..start pounding on his door shouting 'Stop *bleep* vomitting on my plants you *bleep*bleep* Use your *bleep* toilet' . Idiot doesn't open his door!!I'm furious!I write him a note. My friends see the 'humour' in all this (especially my jug carrying). Next day, who do I see in the corner shop trying to duck and dive from me?Nasty Neighbour! I rush towards him, he's turning red, I'm wishing for that jug of water, the shop keeper looks scared. As I get to him I ask him 'What the *bleep*? Don't you have a *bleep* toilet?Who vomits outside the window?And on my plants?And why didn't he open the door?' First he went into a 'I don't speak English veli welle' mode until I said 'I'm going to call your landlord and tell him about this foolishness'. Next thing the dude can not only speak it but he does veli welle! He's apologising, offers me new plants, to clean my windows, but I'm not having it! If I hadn't cornered him in this shop, he wouldn't even have acknowledged this foolishness, so yes I called the landlord and also sent him an angry letter!

The Rock Cries Out to Us Today

2010-06-09T00:04:00.000+01:00

Here on the pulse of this new day
You may have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes,
Into your brother's face, your country
And say simply
Very simply
With hope
Good morning.
Maya Angelou

This post is just random thoughts going on in my head...

* Lil Kim/Nicki Minaj – ok first off I didn’t have Barbies as a kid, well ok I had a one but it was one neglected Barbie(my mother tells me its still intact) as I grew up with four brothers I didn’t have the ‘joys’ of playing with Barbies, instead I was riding bikes,climbing trees, playing with action heros and all that other stuff. Anyway, shouldn’t the props of the original Barbie go to Mattel?They created that damn doll but then again one can forgive them(Kim and Nicki) because they do have enough plastic to get confused on who’s the OG Barbie!! So I don’t get why these two women are dissing and beefing with each other and honestly I don’t care. Just make good music and shut up!

* Lewinsky Minaj, Aoki Lee, Ming Lee ~~(the jury is still out on calling these people insane)~~, Swizz Beatz, Diddy, Trey Songz, Drizzy..no I’m not just naming famous folks, these are some of the names people have decided to call themselves on Facebook !.*seriously?!?.why do that? Aoki and Ming are kids…and two grown ass women have decided to call themselves that?!?Yes they’re cute kids but come on now this aint Flavour of Love or For the Love of Ray-J!

* Drake – I’m on the fence about this guy, and now that I’ve succumbed to peer pressure~~*side-eye to @mskkj, @vimfromzim @senkwe*~~, I’ll be listening to his music, as Jay-Z said in ‘Everyday A Star is Born’ ‘Next its Drake, lets see what he will do’..so yeah will update you all soon

*My sister-friends – yes I fell in love with this saying ‘sister-friend’ when I heard Maya Angelou use it. Its got so much meaning when you have close friends who are just like your sisters. So yep, I’m now calling all my cherished and dearest friends my sister-friends. I'm also still going to continue raving how I'm surrounded by positive women making it happen in their own way, with such people around, you know you've got a strong support base!Some I'm yet to meet in person but still feel I have a friend in them!Guess its just the modern-day pen-pal right?Except that you actually talk on the phone/email/tweet/bbm each other!!

*Maya Angelou – I heart that woman, her voice, her work, just how she is...heart her!If you're not aware of her work, the title of my post is a title of a poem of hers..I love it!!

*Summer – for moi summer is synonymous with braais (bbqs to you non-Southern African folks) meat,meat and loads more well-seasoned, marinated meats. And also summer gives me an opportunity to hang with the sister-friends! Ohh summer is the season for weddings and summer romance too*apparently*!

*Reality shows – I’m a US reality tv junkie, watching Tiny&Toya(I like Tiny and errr Toya when did she start ‘rapping’?), Basketball Wives(wrong name for this show as there’s just two members of the cast who are actually wives!), Brandy& Ray-j’s Family Business (why did Brandy keep calling Flo Rida Flo?use his government name ie Tramar Dillard..~~ok maybe that’s why she called him Flo~~, love their dad), What Chilli Wants (I felt for her when Floyd stood her up)…yes as you can see I watch reality tv way too much!

*Yourlovepunch.com, An Open Letter to my ex’s – Forgive me if I’m late in coming across the site and FB group. Anonymous letters are written to exes, thing about the anonymity is you get it off your chest but they never know right?Apparently its a 'healing process'.Ah well..

* Slim Thug - when I was reading what he said, I had to scratch my head, headover to YouTube and remind myself who he was, then I was hella annoyed at myself for even trying to remember this knee-grow!KMT!

*IamShonaTV - So the day I decided to start filming footage for the videos I went all guns blazing to different shoe stores with my video-camera~~(thinking I'd the female Noel Clarke)~~, I was told by those shop assistants 'Sorry we don't allow filming in the store'..I felt disappointed after hearing it 3/4 times(but of course I'd managed to get some footage), so how was I going to do this?Then well genius idea and the ~~lil 'thug'~~ blagger in me got to work...so yes videos will be put up soon, I think I will put up an interim 'hey,I'm here one' for the time being.

*Twitter - Gotta love how Justin Beiber was a trending topic for ages, I have nothing against the lil man..go Justin. Anyway, I wonder if some folks realize that you are what you tweet and therefore folks should really think before they 'tweet'. I now have my view of certain folks the bi-polar, the ignorant, the plain #whatrockhaveyoubeenunder and then the funny,informative,interesting etc.And to all my twitter folks you know its hard not to put the hash tag right?I did put it in a work email, thankfully realised it before I clicked send..lol!!#twitteraddict

*World Cup 2010 – Its soccer fever all over!In the office sweepstakes I picked Slovakia and Algeria (a friend told me that I had no chance ever..as if I didn’t know), anyway I’m supporting all the African teams, Brazil, Germany and France – if you ask me I have valid reasons for why I’m supporting all these teams.

*Clogs - Fugly, fugly, fugly!!!One trend like harem pants that I will so not be following. And oh whats with folks who follow every darn trend?? The above definition of a fugly pair of shoes is Ralph Lauren and goes for $4,500 yep four and a half grand for that eye-sore!!To Ralph Lauren folks I say 'You Teefs'!! Whoever I'd see paying for that I'd have them sent to the gallows!!#nojoke

Zimchic - email moi : shona@iamshona.com

L'Afrique c'est chic

2010-04-07T12:38:00.000+01:00

A luta continua

I am who I am
Not because of the colour of my skin
Not because of the accent in my voice
Not because of where I’m from
The poverty you say defines me
The corruption you say influences me
The wars you say I’m out to fight
The fraud you say I’ve mastered
The chip you say I carry on my shoulder
No I am who I am
Not because of how much I have in my wallet
Not because of the tribe I belong to
I am who I am
Not because of the languages that roll on my tongue
I am who I am
Not because of the scars not visible to the eye
Not because of the graciousness of my walk
Not because of my gender
Not because of my alumni
Not because of my political affiliation
Not because of personal affliction
I am who I am
Because of the essence of me
Because of my worth, my voice,
My education might mould
Who I might become
But what makes me unique is
the soul of me!
The soul of an African

*Vent Alert!* '

I always say this – I am a product of Zimbabwe and child of Africa. I’m sick and tired of the view the foreign media gives us Africans! Yes, we have our problems but please come on…Zimbabwe’s Forgotten Children, The World’s Most Dangerous Place for Women, Welcome to Lagos, Blood and Oil, Unreported World: Nigeria’s Killing Fields. Now I cried watching Zimbabwe’s Forgotten Children for I never went through that as a child, my Zimbabwe childhood memories are precious and watching The World’s Most Dangerous Place for Women I shed more tears for raping a 3year old is just evil! But, I’m sincerely upset, real mad like Joe Jackson (thanks ‘Ye) because I know there’s much more to Africa than poverty, corruption, rape and all these negative things being shown by the mainstream media!

Why won’t they do a programme on Africa’s Wealthiest People without mentioning corruption and how unfair it is for them to live such a lifestyle whilst the masses suffer? Patrice Motsepe, Aliko Dangote, Femi Otedola, Onsi Sawiris, Kofi Annan, Boutros Boutros-Ghali (I used to love saying his name as a kid..)? How Africans are investing in their countries?How educated we are? Or maybe as Africans we should do a programme on how some London Boroughs are still using mass graves to this day till an African baby was dug out and eaten by a fox?

'Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek'. Barack Obama

We as Africans need to dispell the single story or rather multiple negative stories and right now my mind is in overdrive, now I'm wishing I'd done a film and media course! Hmmm summer school maybe? For we know, they won't do it for us, we NEED to do it OURSELVES! My dearest readers, bloggers and friends, let's rise up, and show them we are not from a 'dark continent! but that L'Afrique c'est chic.

*Please excuse any typos, grammatical errors - this is an improptu piece - so if my prose isn't flowing...apologies!*

UPDATE:

Following publication of this post, LondonDiva and I have set up a Facebook Group which you can join if you feel the same way as we do. This Facebook Group is just the beginning - once we are the change that we seek! www.facebook.com/wedemand!

Our Stories

2010-01-09T20:35:00.000Z

The above Chimamanda video never ceases to inspire me when I'm suffering from writer's block and lawd knows I've been suffering from it such that this cold winter's Saturday evening I had to reference to it..and voila I'm tapping away on my keyboard!

I have a story to tell that's the reason for the re-vamp, not that I'm disowning my first blog..never because without it, I wouldnt be such a confident blogger or writer, ~~you all wouldn't know or say Happy Sexing~~ for I shared part of my stories, made a mark, and now its time to broaden the horizon and share more bigger and better stories. A balance of stories, sharing the thoughts of this Shona woman, a proud Zimbabwean, Africa's child, a black person, an ethnic minority in the diaspora, a Barack Obama Supporter, a book worm, a student, a shoe lover...see there are many stories to tell on the many labels we all carry. Its having the guts to move from the 'stereo-types' but sharing not my world but my world of words through my eyes, those around me, those who brought me up, those who love me...as each and every one reading this post has a story or stories to share and so with each post, you might want to share your story too!

On how single stories lead to stereo-types here are some 'light-hearted ones'

a) Big guys = big tings…(u know what I'm talking about!!)

Unfortunately for some Big guys = chipolatas!! My friend says some might have suffered ‘shrinkage’ after going to the gym and all..lol!

b) Sexy person = Sexy Voice

Gosh, have you ever seen some-one and given them an accent or a voice, deep, sensual, smooth and then from the moment they say ‘Hello’ that’s it??Its like wrong voice dude, wrong voice?

c) Sexy voice = Sexy Person

Some radio dee-jays have disappointed many a listener!!

d) Black Women = Angry Woman

Nope I'm not angry, I don't have any daddy issues, I don't think all black men are dogs and yes I AM a black woman!

e) Short guys = compensatory behaviour, short-man syndrome, egotistical

~~Honestly I’m still on the fence with this one because some short guys have the arrogance of André the Giant~~..lol..I've been told that 'dynamite comes in small packages'. I know short guys who are confident a little cocky but not arrogant bastards!

Anyway I do look forward to sharing stories with you all!

What Do You See?

2009-10-26T11:45:00.019Z

"I am an African, not because I was born in Africa but because Africa is born in me." Kwame Nkrumah

I saw the birth of my dreams, I saw my foundation, I also saw the future for my yet unborn child,I saw a people as a whole with warmth, the beauty Mother nature gave us, (Victoria Falls, the Namib desert, the wildlife, the jaccarandas) I saw education values, I saw resourcefulness, I saw resources (diamonds, gold, oil, farming, coal,copper, educated people)I saw how I might be from the South I will relate to some-one from the East or West side of Africa! I saw history - the pyramids, Gora Island, Robben Island, Great Zimbabwe. I saw the cities. I saw the pride that we live with inside our hearts, I heard our many languages, I heard our great rythms. Yes, I also saw the dark-side, I saw the civil war in Darfur, I saw the Aids pandemic, I saw poverty, I saw the pain we go through in the diaspora to be who we are, I saw the struggle of past and present, I saw the stereo-types they give us, I saw the silent tears we've shed just because of where we are from, I saw it all BUT I also saw HOPE!!

Kwame Nkurumah, Kofi Anan, Julius Nyerere, King Mswati, Nelson Mandela, Wole Soyinka, Fela Kuti, Mansa of Mali - Salif Keita, Angelique Kidjoe, Miriam Makeba, Idris Elba, Thomas Sankara, Djimon Hounsou, Wale Ogunleye, JayJay Okocha, Didier Drogba, Queen Nzinga, Agbani Darego, Winnie Mandela, Brenda Fassie, Kirsty Coventry, Tshaka, Caster Semenya, Chimamanda Adichie, Tsitsi Dangarembgwa, Petina Gappah, the Masai warriors and many more are all children of Mama Africa

Africa rises and stands tall and with children like all you here on Blogville, she beams with pride...

When you see this map what comes to mind and what do you see??

PS:And as I happily sing 'I am leaving this place now, letting go of all my fears, saying good-bye to the memory I hold dear, I can finally breath again, its a new day farewell past, as I close this chapter, I set free at last!' This is no Jay-Z type of retirement(did that one before) this time its real.. I would like to introduce you to my fellow Zimbabwean bloggers ie my homies/top aces/chynas (a la Jigga-style shoutouts @ the end of his concerts) : I stalk her blog and we have our own lil chatroom on her comments page my girl Vimbai , MyBestFriend'sLittleSister she's a newbie blogger and her blogs hold memories of home, Hadassah a yummy mummy to be , Daughter of Eve gots to love her , my lawyer who's the definition of fabulosity ZimChic , repping Zim in Sweden and with style Emilia , she's my lil sis/chyna deep with words and I heart her to bits Non-Non ,his blog is of his trips around the world but this man has a lot to say..actually as I type this I had a Eureka moment..Super you remind me of Simon Cowell..lol.. Superstar! & a dapper, swagger-fied(yes its a word) man who's yet to blog but ladies trust that he's smoove & great with words ProfChicago . I had overlooked her but she's made sure I add her to that list otherwise she'll come after me..he-he but y'all already know her MissDefMaybe . So do visit their pages for some good ol' Southern loving! Stay true to yourselves, love some of u and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

Love Jones

2009-10-14T16:54:00.003+01:00

U've got this jones forming in your bones

Love flowing through your veins

caused by this man

who indeed took over your soul

This man’s got swagger,

He’s not a Mr All Talk no action kinda guy

When he moves his lips its to speak the truth

He has his flaws and that makes him real

For we know you’re not Miss Perfect

He talks just like how he should,

He can roll out the mother tongue and

Switch it up in the next minute

He's your friend and your partner

He’s a hard worker and go-getter

He’s the one you’ll only ever truly love

He's the medicine to your pain

And you're not ashamed to admit to the world

You've got the love jones in your bones

Pillow Thoughts

2009-10-05T17:00:00.002+01:00

If there was a way to read minds

If there was a way to give access to

Inner thoughts, wants and desires

I’d let them be read,

Vowel by vowel

Consonant by consonant

Word for word

Just by you

If long enough you noticed how

My eyes fleet and dart away

From yours

How I stumble to find the words to say

And smile upon hearing your laughter

How many a time I say a silent whisper

Saying your name seductively

How each time when the wind

Brushes against my face I think of it as kiss from you

For the shivers it gives me are the shivers I’d get from you!

Sensual Scandals aka Good-Goodgate!!

2009-09-18T15:31:00.004+01:00

Strokes so rhythmical

a touch so tender

Kisses so endearing

The blues in my funk

And rhythm in my thighs

A good-good moment

An arietta

A sensual haiku

A memory created.

Chain's Unlocked

2009-09-16T12:04:00.005+01:00

And so I was told that……

Good girls don’t talk about sex aka good-good, think about happy sexing and God-forbid say anything about any sexual needs!

Good girls don’t know what a vibrator is

Good girls surely don’t have sex just for sexual gratification.

Good girls don’t flirt

Good girls don’t dance in the club

Good girls don’t have guy friends

Good girls don’t read the Kama Sutra, Zane

Good girls don’t have tattoos, want tattoos, think of tattoos..heck what is a tattoo?

Good girls don't have bad days, use profanity, let alone do a Serena!

Good girls don’t make mistakes

Judge me, Je m’en fous!! God knows I ain't perfect, tell me who in the world is? I'm a work in progress, I'm a seed growing into a flower, I'm a storm that's rising and getting stronger with every hour . That’s whats up!! An email from a blogger made me unlock the chains thank you dear friend.

Bi*** What Did You Just Say???

2009-06-03T10:08:00.006+01:00

What did you just say biiiiatch??? That if I’m from Zimbabwe then I’m South African?? OOOOh insert head twisting, eye-rolling, finger shaking ghetto stance here…Oh hell naw bi**** I’m Zimbabwean!!! Yes, Zimbabwean, not Zambian, not South African but Zimbabwean!! Yes I’m SOUTHERN AFRICAN too, that’s why when I meet a Mozambican we relate, I know to call my friend from Botswana a Motswana not Botswanian, I argue with Kooks about how they claim our Victoria Falls..because we relate BUT still my home is Zimbabwe, the last country alphabetically that is…a beautiful nation! I can click when I speak Ndebele, I’ll switch to my perfect no accent Shona language too!! But don’t dare call me outside my nationality, MNXIII(kissing my teeth Southern style!)…I’ll never ever be ashamed of where I was born and raised! I’m from a people that will say ‘Serious’ to make emphasis on their statement.

I’m part of a people who say ‘ekse’ when they mean ‘friend’. ‘Iwe’ is the name of every unknown and known person. She or he could be a friend or a foe.

We are Southern African and when we say SADC we are talking of links forged through years of connections through more than roads, bridges, borders, lakes and deserts.

We call dumplings ‘fat cooks’, we say 'chips' for what you might crisps!

We made toy cars out of wires! And they was the silver and copper wires..see the tourists flock to buy the works of young kids!

We made balls out of newspapers and shopping bags – and don’t get it twisted not that the parents couldn’t afford the real ball..but these were just better!! Better for aim, better to knock out your opponent, better for durability.

To us BBQ or braai as we call it doesn’t mean just burgers and sausages…nope it means meat(goat, lamb, gizzards et more), chicken, sardines, boerwors, beers, and more beers and did I say loads of meat, mayonnaise with added spicing???Yup…otherwise we call that a drink-up with snacks not a bbq! Do not judge our hospitality skills because we only buy drinks when visitors come and to us there are only two types of salad coleslaw and coleslaw. Dont judge us because we see rice and chicken and we think of Christmas dinner with the relatives.

And yes no matter how educated we can be we are still allowed to think that Coca-cola is the generic name for all soft drinks, Cobra for all floor polish, Surf for all washing powder & Colgate for all toothpaste and Jik for bleach. We know what we are talking about that is what matters.

We are practical people with practical knowledge. We know how to fit 10 people into a fiat or Peugeot 504, if tomato, onion and cooking oil are the only things in the pantry we can be make into a gravy for our sadza, pap or nshima. We are wonderfully scarred by climbing guava, mango and baobab trees.

We are respectful to our parents and elders...the lower we kneel in greeting the greater the respect we have. We call our dads ‘Mudhara’ ‘Muzala’ (old man) when talking to our friends and siblings. Saturday mornings have us washing the cars with the hose-pipe, and yes waterfights are actually fun! Watering the garden with the hose-pipe isn’t a chore but fun! The hose-pipe could also be used as a disciplinary tool…yup multi-fuctional!!..lol..

So what when we give directions some might say "keep going straight, till you reach the fourth house near the big tree and refuse right, corn left at the robots" we still get what the person is saying and normally get there better than any navigation system you paid for. So what when telling the taxi driver where to drop us we say 'By the gum tree' or 'After hump'?He knows the area too maybe not the street name but tell him the landmark, nearest tree or even the family name he'll get you there!!

Steps to us don't mean just ordinary 1,2, 3 flights of stairs. No when we hear steps we think weddings and RHUMBA!!! A wedding is incomplete to us without this essential part..trust even when we go to other non-Southern weddings we are still wishing they did 'maSteps'! The electric slide is done ‘our way’, when ‘gidha’ (get down) we do it well..and even guests will join in, getting the 'steps' and some to a fault..lol..check this video out!

And you may laugh at the names like Fortune, Wisdom, Praise, Passion, Pride but we were innovators before celebrities started naming their kids apple and pixie.

South Africa is where rooibos tea comes from...SOUTHERN AFRICA is where the BANTU people come from...we are all children of the Bantu expansion we traipsed through veld, savanna, okavango to settle in Malawi, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Lesotho, Swaziland, Angola, Namibia, South Africa...WE ARE SOUTHERN AFRICA DHEMMIT!

Thanks to my girls Kooks and Non-Non for helping with this post!! Wordmerchant will tell you how I wore my vexed face when this chick made me South African by default!! Blogville I'll be gone for a while, will I return, I doubt as I've got a severe case of Bloggaria

PS: I love you all, take care of yourselves and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

A Shoutout...

2009-05-18T00:24:00.011+01:00

I see bright shades
It is the color of the rainbow
The shades of a great Summer’s day
The colour of snow-capped mountains
I hear the rhythm of the rain as it
Merges with the earth
I taste
The brightness of Sunflowers
The whiteness of the lilies
It’s the smile that lingers after a phonecall
It’s the tickled thoughts
The laughter
The indulgence of escapades shared
I hear the falsetto
The melodies and joyous sounds
Of scandals told
I can taste the bitter sweet memories
Of losing
Of winning
The threats of pressing ‘end call’
Of laughing at ourselves
The taste of words, Caught in an angle of song.
The joys of friendship!
Its been a while since I've written such improtu pieces so forgive me...this was all 10 minutes work..

Comment Ça Va?

2009-05-11T14:12:00.004+01:00

My last few posts have been about me(yes Shubby I will answer all your questions soon), and not wanting to be selfish, I wanted this one to be about you!

So today Blogville, I ask with concern and sincerity..HOW ARE YOU? Give me all the gory details, so what if I’m opening a can of worms?I mightn’t have the solutions to what’s on your mind but today I want to ask that question and truly mean it, I don’t want to seem too busy ‘living’ that I don’t wait to hear the answer or expect you to say ‘Fine’..Nope, lets break it down…HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY?? Once more be honest, if you're not fine and want to vent, go ahead, if you're ecstatic about something, share with me, if you feel like crying and words are the least you want to say, then I send you a hug! Talk to me dearest friends...as always Happy Sexing xoxo

Your greatness is measured by your kindness; your education and intellect by your modesty; your ignorance is betrayed by your suspicions and prejudices, and your real caliber is measured by the consideration and tolerance you have for others.” William J.H.Boetcker

The Truth Continues....

2009-04-27T12:27:00.015+01:00

Blogger has been hating on me all day today I haven't been able to post but hopefully you can see it.

Bumight:

If you had a shot at your dream job and it came at the expense of time with your family would you take the job?

I seriously considered lying with this one, and say that family comes first, family will always be there for you BUT I promised to tell the truth…so I would take the job, this is my dream job we are talking about, the Sports Agent job I was blabbing on about before…I’d find compromise with family time but I would take the job. I try to live life without resentment and regrets!! Gosh, I’m selfish right?(you’re under no obligation to agree with me!)..ah well such is moi, why lie when I know I’d go there running Usain-Bolt style?

Shubby:

What has been your most dare devil sexual escapade?

Hmmm…Shubby..lemme just say a game of sexzee yahtzee was involved in this but won’t share where?..lol!!

MyOwnThing:

What makes you happy?

Size 5 ½ / 6 (UK) Manolos, JimmyChoos,Steve Maddens,Chanels..would make me very happy, Great Sex (why do y’all think I sign off with Happy Sexing?), being in the company of my friends

What is your favourite meal?

This depends on who’s paying….lol!!! Ranging from Nandos Shicken(the meal people..the meal not the position!!) to a meal at Thai Square to Gordon Ramsey’s joint!

The Truth, NOTHING but the TRUTH!!

2009-04-26T02:36:00.006+01:00

">">

This is the initial Birthday Q&A hope it works for you all and you can hear me!I will tackle all the other questions as well in a follow-up post..promise!Audio or not??

Ask & You Shall Be Answered

2009-04-24T13:59:00.007+01:00

Hey Blogville,

No need to send out a search party,I am well, mojo still no dey o... My blog turns ONE this weekend, so how about you ask me ANYTHING and in a SPECIAL ONE YEAR BLOG I'll answer your questions(this weekend)! If you don't ask me any questions, I shall never return to Blogville..(I don't make empty threats!), and you know u'll miss me!!!

If you have been to Afro's page, and also read the Ode to Shona's Booty on Wordmerchants page, I feel you now know me from behind..literally!!There..I have claimed my booty!!Will talk more about this FAB night on my B'day Blog!

UPDATE: Keyword is 'ANYTHING', so no limitations or subject areas I won't cover, as they say 'I 'get' liver!!..lol.. and so that you know this post will go down soon coz I just need to get the questions o..hurry now..just ask what comes to mind..naughty or nice..just post your questions as comments and this thinking about the question is getting tired yoh!!..LOL...

My Mojo's Gone A.W.O.L!!!

2009-04-07T12:50:00.007+01:00

Ndeipi Blogville!!

I sincerely am convinced that I’ve lost my mojo, seriously…and that’s a frightening thought! Its gone, zilch, nada, zero, blank, zzzzzzz, oooh lawdy I need some help! Even the basics of flirting, and I’ll have you know that like RKelly ‘I’mma Flirt’ but guys my dearest darling mojo has left me..that magic, the certain je ne sais quoi is definitely on E and my tank needs some filling! Bloggers like Sexkitten, Scribble, Quaggar , Sir Roc et al who talk about their conquests/exploits showing off with their mojo-fied selves, yeah who knows they could be reliving their history from eons and eons ago(though I think Sexkittens aren’t from the past..lol) but still I can’t even bring myself to scribe about my past ones…what if I lost my skills?my prowess?all the vixen in me??..gosh what the heck happened to me!!! Don’t any-one mention Sunday School right about now!! Mojo, come back to me. I don't know where you went, but if you return, I solemnly promise to handle you with care!!

I managed to twist my ankle two weeks ago, so was confined to wearing flats…its not fun @ all, though yesterday I was determined to wear my heels, pain or no pain this pumps business was enough!! Got home and my grandma says ‘Shona! Take off the heels, you are stubborn like your father!I won’t be massaging that ankle tonight!’, guys this is what greeted me instead of our traditional two beijo (kisses) on the cheeks…and then she did this ‘clucking’ sound..I wore my pumps to work today..lol!!!The power of the elderly I guess!!

Well my i-pod was selecting some random but similar songs this morning that I had to chuckle to myself…and affirmed my belief that T-Pain has a drink problem ‘One More Drink’ by Luda ft T-Pain, ‘Blame it on the Alcohol’ Jamie Foxx Ft T-Pain, ‘Tipsy’ by J-Kwon and ‘Just Dance’ by Lady Gaga!! I had to think even my i-pod was a bit as the French would say ‘gaga’!!..lol…How many times have said it was because you were crunk/drunk/intoxicated and blamed it on the booze???

PS: I’m proud to introduce an exciting new blog ‘The African Women’ were I’ll be working with such literary greats that are Wordsmith, Tigeress, Temite, Ms Sula, Afrobabe, Buttercup,Good Naija Girl, Vera . The blog will cover all issues and if you have a burning issues you’d like us to cover or as Roc called us ‘Agony Aunties’ you have a situation you’d like our perspective on then heey send us an email : theafricanwomen@googlegroups.com

PPS: My darlings, tell me your drunk excuses (if any), I don't do 'blame it on the drink' because I don't get insanely, blacked out crunk, nope I remember all the ish & more, plus I'm more scared of myself when I'm sober..lol..!If you happen to meet my mojo please kindly send it back to me..I promise to pay whoever sends me my mojo!! Hope you're all well and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

Now That I'm Nigerianized!! 30 Commandments to....

2009-03-26T14:28:00.009Z

Ndatenda, Ngiyabonga,Jeref,Obrigado, Merci,Thank You Blogville for voting for moi! No, I don't have a Naija boyfriend but hey since I've been officially Nigerianized and an award to show for it (so no be story story or small ting o..na true talk were say Shona be the real deal o!Zimba girl fit talk like Naija babe!!)..lol..(sorry if my pidgin sucks)

Anyway, since m officially Nigerianised here are some commandments for all single females out there.... (i didn't make them just sharing so please don't crucify moi!)

30 Commandments to Marry a 9JA Man or is Bobo?

1. Thou shall NOT be a LONG TINS BABE (you know what I mean?)

2. Thou shall not lack in boobs, yansh and hips. If you must, please lack only one and find a way to make up for it.

Pass

3. Thou shall NOT be a down to earth, real or ride or die chick. I.e all those ruff, rugged and raw "tell it as it is" girls, NOT WORKING.

Fail for Shona

4. Thou shall not have dew hair (All those afro/afro-kinky "soul" sisters… FORGET IT).

Pass (err before I go to the salon then its a fail!..lol)

5. Thou shall not be a non-church goer. Ladies, for extra credit, be an usher, Sunday school aunty or PRAYER WARRIOR (This applies to other religious sects)

Well since m now a Sunday School teacher its a pass abi?

6. Thou shall not go to club to find husband... YOU GO JONZ!!

True talk...

7. Thou shall not drink hard liquor or beers. Stick to 2 glasses of wine, IF YOU MUST DRINK ALCHOHOL

LOL!!!!!!No comment...FAIL...

8. Thou shall not have un-manicured nails (It has to be French manicure acrylic nails).

Amber on this one!!

9. Thou shall not have daddy issues (victims of divorced parents and dysfunctional families … keep it to yourselves).

I love my daddy...no daddy issues so err PASS

10. Thou shall not go without makeup (i.e. caked foundation, studio fix but ensure that the make up has a natural look which is purple lip liner, pink lip gloss and chocolate/natural eye shadows)

FAIL I guess coz I love my eye-colours..i mean MAC has so many so why choose the boring natural??

11. Thou shall not lack culinary skills. Perfect the art of egusi, ogbono and all variations of rice. Home Economics is in order

How can a Zimba girl like me know how to make egusi, et more? Afrobabe, Parakeet and Tigeress thank you for the lessons that are going to start now!!

12. Thou shall not be a "posh sturvs". Sushi or lasagne…uh ..Really?

As much as I love my traditional foods I FAIL DISMALLY because I heart Sushi, one of my girls used to work for Yo!Sushi and boy did I think she was sushi on legs..everytime I saw her I wanted me some sushi! And I make a mean lasagne too

13. Thou shall not knack ya head when you have a weave. Futhermore, on no account should you be caught scratching and flicking the condiments into thin air. That is simply DISGUSTING.

Fail - why would Mrs Beyonce Carter sing 'Pat ya weave girl, pat, pat, your weave' if not to show that's what we do???Abeggggg

14. Thou shall not do any strange degrees, such as development, journalism or medical genetics. Ladies, stick to law, engineering, accounting, business or pharmacy.

Technically its a pass now coz I'm doing law..lol!!

15. Thou shall not have a sense of humour or try to even be funny (note: SARCASM IS A NO NO)

FAIL DISMALLY!!!

16. Ultimately, thou shall not go past a first degree, maybe masters (PHD IS AN ABORMINATION)

FAIL ONCE MORE because I intend to get a PHD!!!!

17. If thou must study a masters, please please, remember to dumb down when hanging with his friends.

FAIL (And why should I let his friends think I'm dumb??)

18. Thou shall not disclose too much of yourself. You will seem needy

PASS : I never let out much anyway...

19. Thou SHALL NOT have a sex life or sexual imagination prior to meeting him. Let him "teach" you.

LMAO....FAIL!!! So no mention of HAPPY SEXING..LOL!!

20. Thou shall not listen to anything other than r'n'b or hip hop (common is pushing it). All you World music and rock chicks, NOT HAPPENING MATE).

Come on now...so everyone shout with me FAIL!!!(Country music and co also lead to Failure!!)

21. Thou shall NOT an independent woman. (all those "I can pay my own bills" bullshit… Basically , LONG TINS). Refer to commandment one!

FAIL!!!!!!

22. Thou shall not be opinionated or well informed (WARNING: This might come off as intimidating. Besides, no one likes a miss know it all).

FAIL!!!!!

23. Thou shall not go to any obscure University. Please stick to Kent, Leicester, Nottingham, and Reading. (WARNING- YOU WILL END UP ALONE).

LOL!!

24. Thou shall not be overly friendly. All those social butterflies and jovial. Personalities…BEWARE.

lol!!!

25. Thou shall not be anti-social when it comes to his family. You have to GET IN THERE FULLY.

I heart the families but.....

26. Thou shall not explore any originality when it comes to fashion. Stick to T.M Lewin, Hawes&Curtis, pointies or kitten heels, and jeans – Abortion belt always puts the icing on the cake. To complete the look, don't be seen without your thick framed rectangular glasses (YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS).

I'm sorry but I don't do obvious...FAIL with a BIG F!!!

27. Thou shall not hunt in packs (warning to girls with bossom bodies that cant be separated

Understandable but you do need a friend or 2 to hunt with

28. Thou shall NOT be loud. Keep your voice to a minimum always

HARD to do sometimes so errr FAIL

29. Thou shall not appear to be having too much fun on the dance floor. When it comes to dancing, keep it simple (Dutty winders and grinders, ITS NOT HAPPENING).

Yahooze dance, Rumba,Dombolo,Electric Slide all lead to FAIL!!

30. Thou shall not think about breaking this next commandment. The ULTIMATE, IF NOT YOU ARE FINISHED....It Will be an OYO STATE (on you own) FOR YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.....LADIES PLEASE PLEASE AND PLEASE DO NOT GO TO THE BEDROOM WITH ANY WRAPPER, NIGHT SHIRT, WHITE TOP GEL OR SHELLY ON YOUR FACE. If you must Do all the above, LADIES, BURN THOSE GOLD AND BLACK HAIR NETS. Girls, we are all guilty of owning a hair net or 2.Girls, we are all guilty of owning a hair net or 2. And we know that all the commandments before suggests that you must be a babe on POINT constantly. You have to FIND A WAY TO WORK AROUND THIS HAIR NET ISSUES. Statistics dictates that one in two marriages FAIL due to this.

OYO STATE I dey reside!!...lol...

Conclusion is I have only about 7 passes..LOL!!I'm hoping most guys don't work with them rules anyways...

Happy sexing to you all my Blogville family!!Thank You for Voting for me!!

Emotive Words

2009-03-25T13:28:00.012Z

‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’

I wonder why as a kid I’d shout loudly to my brothers because true as I am Zimbabwean, words hurt me more, texts, emails, written words I remember and so why would I say that load of bull??Lets just say I was young and foolish..lol!

Shane - a man who has swagger, street smart, well-educated, a man proud of his African heritage, arrogant as hell (but he had to be as you all know arrogance is a weakness on my part!), had a great relationship with his mother and father too , cute lil dimples which you would miss if you didn’t look at him for long, he had this air, this eeerrr je ne sais quoi and the cherry on this was he’d tape The Apprentice/Harlem Heights/24 for the Queen Bee whenever she was working late. Actually Kooks/Haddash – Shane's like Harlem Height’s mixture of Christian et Pierre…a go-getter! Yes he had his faults but all humans have their flaws but still did he deserve what I did to him last night?I cried last night, the second time I’ve cried this week (cried as I watched Daddy’s Girls when Rev Run was reading the e-mail Angela wrote to him), so second time emotive words had turned on the tsunami-waterworks, I couldn’t help it, was I taking it way too personally?The power of words had moved me so much, and yet I kept on typing, letter after letter at my 65wpm(yes that’s how fast I type having been a PA/Executive Legal Assistant for many years), sentiment after sentiment, I dug deeper into my soul, my tears were sure to cause an inferno. It seemed like I couldn’t stop myself, there on my bed surrounded by my many pillows in my spaghetti top and boyshorts I killed off a man!I even had background music as encouragement, Lauryn Hill’s Bohemian Rhapsody - imagine that, a soundtrack to a murder! Shane was dead, no miracle would bring him back, he was going to stay dead, and with each word I was making his existence a mere memory. I’d never thought I’d be this dark, heartless and merciless for some-where in the back of my mind I could hear him fighting for his life, my conscience was his last life-line, begging me to not kill him off, ok make him suffer but the death of a man isn’t easy but I was determined, as much as it affected me, I was going to do it! Last night, as I escaped into the world of an authoress, I ShonaVixen killed off a character I'd created with so much love, honesty, sincerity and probably think I’d kind of fallen for this man I’d created that killing him off was difficult and emotional, but die he had for this creative challenge to continue! It wasn’t the first time some-one had died in my work, but Tadiwa had been shot by a stray bullet, so that was totally different. I hadn’t seen it coming but it felt like he needed to die if I was to continue without a block and now I wonder if indeed by killing him off I also killed ghosts of my own?

PS: Haddash (my Zim chica!) & Tigeress, thank you so much for tagging me (so not happy!!) but me thinks my post A Peak into Shona’s World was more than enough…don’t you? You all know I have the barriers with Blogville! Hope you’re all well, be grateful for what you have and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

PPS: Here’s your Jimmy's Confessions!

Reality tv has me smiling - Harlem Heights, The Apprentice, Baldwin Hills, Daddy's Girls

Reading is DEFINITELY S.E.X.Y!!

2009-03-16T15:45:00.011Z

This is the last of My Great Loves Trilogy

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. ~Charles W. Eliot

Do I have a favourite book? From childhood I remember Enid Blyton, Hans Christen Andersen, Sweet Valley High teenage years I remember loving Jane Eyre, Pacesseters, Merchant of Venice(that’s why I loved 7 pounds I guess), Canterbury Tales, Romeo & Juliet, Danielle Steele (yes I read her books as a teenager!)Wole Soyinka, Things Fall Apart and now gosh I’ve read many… autobiographies from Confessions of a Video Vixen to Audacity of Hope, Long Walk to Freedom, Spiritual reads, The Secret, The Lady,Her Lover and Her Lord, Not Easily Broken, ; Romantic reads that have made me cry, I still say ‘Friends and Lovers’ by Eric Jerome Dickey had a part that got me wailing like a little kid, I felt the intensity of emotion! I’ve read erotica – Zane, Eric Jerome Dickey(this man knows how to get a woman all hot and bovvered!! I have ALL his books and most of which have been personally signed by the man himself..yup have met this man more than twice!), Terri McMillan’s works I adore and wish one day I can write like her! I so detest Stephen King…really!, I love me some African Literature! I love Zora Neale Hurston’s ‘Their Eyes were watching God’..one of my favourite books to date! So once more I ask myself do I have a favourite book??Sadly, or luckily for my books I don’t have a favourite, each has a memory, an emotion, a person I attach it to..as I lay me to bed each night reading some-one’s work, and I escape with the characters, I find myself at my happiest! Reading and books have been a constant friend to me, from the age of 6 when I entered the world of literature and after annoying both my mum and the patients at her surgery trying to read the magazines in the waiting room, hilarious when I tried to read 'Miscellaneous'..lol she got me Fairy Tales by Hans Christen Andersen ..that kept me quiet for about a week! My world became greater and interesting at 7 when I got my first library card(other than the school's library), I lived in that library, I would run away from home to escape to the library..sigh..I was the spelling Bee at my school because of reading! I have learnt a lot from books..heey where it not for Half of Yellow Sun I wouldn’t know that ‘Kedu’ means how are you in Igbo..and now I have fooled many an Igbo person..lol!! I have driven in LA, stayed in Venice, seen the Lagos markets, been to India, dodged a bullet in Iraqi, felt the betrayal of a cheated wife, became a nun, travelled to Egypt, lived in the Victorian era, as I became one with the characters in the many books I’ve read! The Alchemist was my best read for 2008! So far for 2009, I’ve loved Love Letters of Great Men, my first Sophie Kinsella book ‘ Remember Me’ and He’s Just Not That Into You

Woe be to him that reads but one book. George Herbert

If a man wants to put me off him all he has to say is ‘I don’t remember the last time I read a book!’…gosh that’s just as bad as telling me you don’t think I should get more shoes…you get my drift..a non-starter..I DELETE that person with no warning!!I’ve even told my friends that’s not cute to say because some folks say that ish as if its cute…errr so not!! I have a personal vendetta out to folks that don’t read..lol! Actually Roc dearest its one of my major pet peeves, folks who show-off about not reading! Yup, I am a book-worm and get turned on by a man who reads, you never run out of things to talk about! And if I'm to choose besides shoe-shopping and books that will be a tough one..seriously!!

I salute scribes everywhere! Writing is therapy for the writer and also for the reader! Anyway guys, what book(s) do you hold dear and close? Hope you’re all well and yeah my love for shoes is because of the shoe-box incident in my previous post..I blame the parents!! Nway tell Shona about your fav books and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

UPDATE: The Apprentice starts next week, and there's a Tanzanian sista, Mona Lewis...'Twende dada(let's go sis in Swahili), do us proud'!!!

A Peak into Shona's World...

2009-03-10T13:24:00.011Z

Hey darlings…wow, firstly thank you to all my lovelies who checked up on me, Funms,Kooks,Buttercup,WordMerchant et more…I’m much better thank you, yup I have my voice back, its croackie but its back!Afro advised that I just shut up for a while..gurl, you know that’s a challenge!

With my post today, I lower the walls I have with blogville, and let you enter into my world just a little bit, maybe just a peak into my world whilst I share some things that have been happening to me!

Yours truly is a Sunday School teacher!!Yup @ St Mellitus Catholic Church, I’m loving it! The kids are so sweet and great, I also get to bring out my inner child..and I think I'm a cool Sunday School teacher. However when I tell folks, they burst out laughing and say they need to witness this for themselves!!Blogville, you aren't surprised are you??Surely not my faithful friends here..LOL!!

I'm a pre-term baby!Yes I decided to see the world 2 months before they expected me too! Apparently that's why I'm asthmatic. I was in the incubator for the most part of the 2 months, when my parents took me home, I was so tiny they had fun by putting me in a shoe box..imagine that!!My dad also nick-named me mosquito...gosh the love and excitement of having their daughter!!LOL...I therefore donate to the Tommy's Baby charity.

My one year celibacy anniversary is coming up soon..yeah yeah its nothing to harp on about to some folks BUT I will!! Don’t even know how I’m going to celebrate it..LOL!!They should have Hallmark cards for it..'Well Done For Not Getting Some For a Whole 12 MONTHS!'..LOL...When I told my friend that 'Good things come to those who wait' he laughed..and told me I might as well stay celibate for ever because I need to go out there and get some!!..See this man, trying to mess with my flow and innocence..*cough*cough* (hey m feigning innocence now that I'm Sister Sho the Cool Sunday School teacher!!..lol)

My grandma is around…and I’m seriously contemplating hiding the tv remote control..folks I can’t watch anything on tv unless its FamilyFortunes,Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Takeshi’s Castle, Nigerian movies (I like Naija movies BUT I really don’t want to be watching the ones with the subtitles!!) These are the times I’d wish I had another getaway place to go to especially over the weekends!..I felt like crying on Sunday, seriously and so when my aunt from the States called I used that as an opportunity to change the channel and watch Desperate Housewives..I now regret giving away the tv I had in my bedroom...sigh..I do love my grandma BUT she’s hogging the tv yoh!.LOL

I was off yesterday and headed to B&Q, I got some flowers for my balcony had been procastinating about doing this till I read Angel’s blog. So I got some Chrysanthemums, primroses, and lavendars…my balcony will for sure be looking pretty soon!! I wouldn’t call myself green-fingered BUT I do like beautiful flowers and I just feel like I need to connect with nature. I also got some paint for the spare room in my house which I’ll be renting out again. So this Friday as I have the day off, I will be painting that room and yup I can paint very well!! When I told my friend if he could drive me to B&Q for some paint and flowers he was surprised to say the least, that I could paint…errr just because I wear the hell out of my 4inch pumps and can act girly doesn’t mean that I can’t DIY around my house! Which reminds me..I broke my bed AGAIN..lol..IKEA I needs a refund!!I guess I didn't fix the bed right the first time, so I just might need a male pair of hands but imagine inviting a male into my room after a year of non-activity on my darling bed asking him to 'FIX' it for moi????LOL!!!!

This last weekend, I sang and bowled with the diva herself..LONDONDIVA and she put me to shame on the mic…this woman can rap!!Was great meeting her and she's every inch of fabulous!! and then I partied the nite away toghether wiv my girl Parakeet!! Yes, it was a Bloggers weekend for moi though my side-kick Afro wasn’t there..she was missed!! I planned a SURPRISE birthday do for my BFF with bowling/karaoke in the afternoon, dinner at Thai Square and then partying at Clause Bar!I love organising things and she was very well impressed that now I'm her official wedding planner!!

As I’ve been physically ill, I’m feeling blah…you know out of it..I need excitement in my life..SERIOUSLY!! I hadn’t been sick for the most part of winter so when I got a cold, laryngitis hit me too, asthma had a lil picnic with me and I’m just drained now! Yup, drained is the word….And my creative juices are dry at the moment so I'm sorry I haven't concluded my 3-part 'Great Loves', I have to be in the zone to top my last post which btw I didn't think would have such a great response..thank u guys, you are far too kind!!

So how come I’m not a nominee in Category A for the Bloggers Award?Hmmm so I’m so not interesting or entertaining, you don’t like the use of media ie music on this Blog??You Judas’!!!..LOL…I must have at least 10 awards from Category B then…and yes it’s a threat!!I love you my dearies and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

My Seasonal Boo(s)

2009-02-25T13:01:00.005Z

This is the 2nd in a Trilogy of 'My Great Loves'

Summer

Your love is the warmth of summer, you’re the pick-me-up friend! How many a party have we attended? How many a laughter have we shared? Your love like the summer heat can be too much it will burn, but without it, we yearn for it! You have a knack to bring out the child in us your friends, you’re boisterous, you’re loud, you declare the attention but you never forget those important to you. You might get lost in yourself, yes Summer my friend you can be narcissistic, but let us tell you and you amend your ways. You've promised to do a happy dance/rain dance/'Buhle' dance when I get some happy sexing!..lol..Many-a-truth is said in jest isn’t it Summer? You will say it sweetly, making sure no-one’s hurt, you choose the words all so careful, for after all you just want every-one to be happy!

Autumn

My friend dearest Autumn. You prepare us for Winter’s harshness, you’re luke-warm. The impartial friend, you have no sides and fairness is your game. Even when I’m begging for you to tell me I’m right you outline where I’ve gone wrong and give me a solution…you could write a handbook on friendship for you are such a great friend that sometimes we forget to be YOUR friend and expect you to be our friend..you’ll stop calling just to see if we will call you back and you know we always do! Oooh Autumn, special autumn, even though you shed the beauty of Summer away, you’re prepping us for tougher times!

Winter

They say you’re harsh and brutal. Cold, dry and miserable but that’s because they don’t know that inside lies a hidden warmth. You’re the brutally honest friend, you don’t make it all rosy, harsh reality, constructive criticism I come to you for and guaranteed you’ll give it! Your heart is all mushy to those you’ve allowed in and without you they are lost! You’re the friend who encourages me to take a good look at myself, you keep me grounded, reminding me that should fame come my way, there are certain things I should never change!

Spring :

The friend that soothes me after Winter has been harsh to me!You remind me of the joys of friendship, that if there was never any conflict then it wouldn’t be friendship. You’re the pacifier, you resolve conflicts. The reliable friend who would give up the shirt on their back just to clothe a friend!

I don't use the term 'friend' loosely, to me friendship encompasses empathy, sympathy, truth, encouragement, being there for one another and mutual understanding!

Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather! My seasonal boos, as another season blends in with the next, trees have their leaves back, the flowers show off their beauty, we all accept that in order to be who we are, and to get on as we do its because of the different elements of our own individual beauty that make our bond so strong! To all my friends I love you!! I’ve also made some great friends here on Blogville, you guys are wonderful..love ya..and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

If Music Be the Food of Love.... Then Play On

2009-02-23T16:16:00.005Z

Music has been around since time immemorial. Without my i-pod I’m lost literally..I remember when my i-pod crushed, it woke up and gave up on its dear life, Mr Ex-Man, knowing how I felt about the i-pod went to Apple store, and got me a new one the very next day..(I kept moaning n moaning about the ipod!). Like the movies I like, I don’t follow the hype…for example to me 7 Pounds deserved an Oscar and is one of Will’s best movies BUT not many people think that it’s a great movie.Music is also universal, you mightn't understand the language but still love the beat..have you ever been to a party, you don't know the person standing next to you but let them play one song you both know..boom conversation starts!

I’ll hear a song and it will remind me of some-one and sometimes I’m amazed how it can be a blogger whom I haven’t met. My musical tastes will range from Il Divo to Tinchy Stryder..yes LondonDiva I have Tinchy on my i-pod..shame on my face..lol! From Whodini to Carrie Underwood! Salif Kieta, Angelique Kidjoe, Youssor N’dou are all on my Afro music genre!I miss Boyz 2 Men, Dru Hill, Jodeci, H-town, Blackstreet, SWV, Jade, Brownstone gosh the 90s were the best!!!

I have my own genre’s on my ipod eg

Pick Me Up Music eg Pretty Young Thing Michael J - I always act a fool when I hear this song

Party Beats : Gongo Aso by 9ice

Get Ur Groove On: On top of Me - Tyrese , G-Spot - Gerald Levert(the part he moans is the best!!!..lol)

Inspirational/Gospel: The World's Greatest - R. Kelly

I don’t know why

The I-don’t-know-why genre has music that even I don’t know why I like it ie Tinchy Stryder’s Can you Take Me Back, Calvin Richardson’s There Goes My Baby, Soulja Boy’s Kiss Me Thru the Phone…lol…

I also like certain songs maybe just because they make me want to bust a move..and well I do try my best..at the moment The Dream’s ‘Shaking That Thing Like’ is my song and I am doing my best in shaking that thing…though nothing gets me on the dance floor faster than Cameo’s Candy and 9ice’s Gongo Aso..lol..ask Afro, I can even sing along to Gongo-Aso..lol!! I’m crazy about Lil Wayne’s music and he’s one talented guy!! Lady Gaga’s Just Dance…well need I say more? Some songs will tell you what happened,'she gave us some drinks,we drunk em and got drunk..lol', some what's about to happen 'Love Scene by Joe'..and some well just might be true 'Because I got High' by Afroman is no lie, dude WAS high!!

Gerald Levert's songs always bring tears to my eyes...don't know why..but they just do!!

I have concluded that T-Pain is an alcoholic, either he’s buying some-one a drink, getting tipsy or he’s praising the bar-tender or he’s just blaming it on the alcohol…sigh… So everytime you come to my space, you might hear different music, and that’s because I’ll be in a certain frame of mind…and right about now…what’s your song?

When I’m feeling at my least creative and I need ideas I turn to music, guaranteed I will hear a song that will send my mind into over-drive. There are some songs that don’t make sense, some that are way too deep and some you just want to meet the writer and shake their hand.

This is the first in a 3part series sharing my 3 loves, music, my friends and books!! Hope you are all, please enjoy the video below (I know you've seen it by now but I'm loving it still!!Go Buhle..Hoza..wiv my friends its now official that when you suddenly feel like dancing all crazy its going to be called 'A Buhle' Moment)...As always I say to you..Happy sexing xoxo

Stereo-Types...Speak On it!!

2009-02-18T15:17:00.008Z

Image totally unrelated to the post!Dedication to you guys

Ndeipi Blogville!!

I watched He’s Just Not That Into You over the weekend, loved it! Now at the beginning of the movie you get women from all over the world giving excuses to why the guy didn’t call, and its only fair to have African women too…the African females are in a rural setting, doing their laundry and they start speaking…and its SHONA(by now you all know that's a Zimbabwean language right?If not...mnxiiii ie kissing my teeth Zim-style), yebo-yes, but it was badly pronounced, they said the wrong word that we guessed what they meant..my very own language was murdered in this movie!!I kissed my teeth and shouted out with my friend 'Haa Pfutsek!'1. So that’s how the world views Africa, wild animals roaming about and living in mud huts yup even in these trying and difficult times…Zimbabwe isn’t some village!! But then that’s the thing with stereo-types they aren’t always correct!

I have a few 'light-hearted' ones:

a) Big guys = big tings…(u know what I'm talking about!!)

Unfortunately for some Big guys = chipolatas!! My friend says some might have suffered ‘shrinkage’ after going to the gym and all..lol!

b) Sexy person = Sexy Voice

Gosh, have you ever seen some-one and given them an accent or a voice, deep, sensual, smooth and then from the moment they say ‘Hello’ that’s it??Its like wrong voice dude, wrong voice?

c) Sexy voice = Sexy Person

Some radio dee-jays have disappointed many a listener!!

d) Black Women = Big Booty

Not all black women have big booty...some have small ones..lol..Afro don't even think about it!!..lol..

e) Short guys = compensatory behaviour, short-man syndrome, egotistical

Honestly I’m still on the fence with this one because some short guys have the arrogance of André the Giant..lol..I've been told that 'dynamite comes in small packages' so who knows *naughty grin on my face*wink*wink*..lol..

Over to you my darlings, any you would like to share?Love to you guys and as always happy sexing xoxo

'Haa Pfutsek' - is the Southern African version of 'Voertsek' which is Afrikaans for 'F-off'

The Essence of Trust

2009-02-10T15:56:00.006Z

I trust you, i love you, i want you, i need you

baby i breath you, never leave you,

life wouldn't be the same without you

I Trust you, i love you, i want you,

i need you baby, i breath you, never leave you,

life wouldn't be the same without you,

Noooooo No No No No

Trust - by Keyshia Cole (Listen to it, its on my playlist!)

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl said, "No, Dad, you hold my hand.""What's the difference?" asked the puzzled father."There's a big difference," replied the little girl, "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go." In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold us.

Does any-one see anything wrong with those lyrics from Keyshia's song?(Please do listen to all of it if you can before commenting, song number 3)When I listen to music, I go beyond the beat, the hook, the chorus - I try to get the essence of the song and the lyrics and I see so many wrong things on so many levels with that song...lol..Anyway back to 'Trust', there are some people who have a default 'trust' setting and I don't..honestly..you have to gain my trust, break that whole bond and I cut you off, don't matter whether you're male or female, friend or frenemy you'd be as good as dead to me! Please don't misconstrue this post with 'self-trust', because I do trust myself and my inner circle of familia and amigos. Now my dearies, how do you handle trust?Do you trust'blindly'. How then do you differentiate 'blind' trust and foolishness?And broken trust?

Love all, but trust a few. - William Shakespeare

PS: Please don't come here on February 14th and wish me a Happy Valentine's Day, if you've never passed through and wished me a Happy Saturday before why should you come this Saturday??Yes, I don't endorse that day...every flipping day should be special, so for those who will be carrying their flowers, big teddy-bears(btw who likes those??..sorry to those who do..lol)PDAs, acting like its the most romantic thing home-boy has done..don't look my way..I'll dash water @ you, as I'm going to be out and about!!!..LOL...as always Happy Sexing xoxo

Cupid Send Me A Love Letter..Pretty Please!!

2009-02-05T14:46:00.004Z

Ndeipi Blogville!?!(That's Wassup Blogville in my language(Shona))

I really, really, want to get a love letter..yess I do! Phew feels so much better now that I've said it out, not just any love letter but the cute, funny, tear-jerking love letter. Not a post-it note but a letter... I’d love to curl up on my couch, with a cup of hot tea and read the letter. I want to read it and think now that’s way too cute, way too steamy, way too corny and way too silly! I want to play with my hair, call up my girls and read it to them, I want to smell the letter, keep reading it till I know it by heart! I want it to be hand-written, an element of it being personalised, some man having taken some time to pen such! What’s brought this on, well I’ve just finished reading Love Letters of Great Men (the person who got it for me thinks I don’t know its him, but I did my investigations and well..I haven’t thanked him for it because I’m meant not to know who sent it to me!)..I digress, after reading this book which has such intense, funny, emotional love letters from centuries gone by, I now long for one! Even if its got xoxo’s and lol’s, I just want my own love letter…Have you ever written a love letter to your one( the ones from high school don't count), whether real or imaginary? I’ll do a 'Love Letter' post in the next few days…and any-one willing to write me a letter if not a love letter?..lol..

PS: I’ve also met my twin sister..yeah we were separated @ birth, grew up in different countries and now we’ve found each other!!..and don’t nobody say ‘story, story’ coz this na true talk..LOL!!..Anyway hope you're all well and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

To His Excellency With Love 2

2009-01-29T15:58:00.010Z

Mr President, I did write to you before but I’m sure it didn’t get to you so today I write another one hoping this time you’ll read it or at least feel the sentiments behind it. Firstly, I would like to thank you for fighting in the liberation struggle, for the years you spent wanting to liberate us, for when our grandparents were treated like third class citizens, you fought for all that to end and well on the 18th of April 1980, Rhodesia became Zimbabwe. A strong nation and well didn’t they all love you then? The darling of Africa they affectionately called you! The bread basket of Africa they called our country for we fed all of Africa!

You and I know you have been in power since I was a toddler, 29 years this year but then President Dos Santos has been in power for 30 years, so I wont dwell on the length of years you’ve been in power. I won’t even question why you chose to give land to those who didn’t know how to farm, nor will I question why you still claim us to be ‘your people’? No, Mr President I’m not questioning your ability to lead at your age, how dare I? And I’m not saying let Mr Tsvangirai lead, oh no, he’s been a mockery to leadership, skiving to Botswana and gallivanting to France to save his own skin whilst crying ‘my people are dying’..please Mr President whatever you do, don’t let him become the sole leader! So what am I saying? I’m saying both of you need to put the house in order.

Because of the brain-drain from our beloved nation, you have called me and all the other young Zimbabweans who left the country ‘traitors’, and Mr President today I felt like one. How can I shed tears of the picture of the old woman dying of hunger and yet I’m sitting here, sipping ‘Evian water’? How can I? My tears surely won’t resurrect the economy, but Mr President, I’m still investing in my country, I’m supporting my family and I know selfish as it is to say, once things get better I’ll come home!’However if we were to stay can you allow us to accumulate our own wealth in our own nation? Did you just snigger and say ‘You’re still a traitor?’ Please dearest sir be kind to me, for I try to school those that don’t know my motherland..that we are home to one of the 7 natural wonders Mosi-oa-Tunya (this means the smoke that thunders) or as they prefer to call it The Victoria Falls, that Zimbabwe means House of Stone, that we have all the Big 5 game (Lion, Cheetah, Buffalo, Rhino and Elephant), that we have the Shonas and the Ndebeles, and Your Excellency I can speak both languages, that we also had apartheid in Zimbabwe and one of the few African countries that got its independence late in 1980. How most Africans did send their children to schools in Zimbabwe, I still remember Adebola, Nana, Awa from junior school and the many Motswanas in high school. Your Excellency, I totally hear you when you say its because they want our country, if they didn't want anything from our Zimbabwe would they really cause such a rucus?I think not..but Mr President for the sake of future generations, lets not kill our home!!

Dearest Sir, I still yearn for good news not that cholera has claimed more lives, half the population is starving, everything is just expensive, the phones hardly work, the teachers are still on strike, lack of medicines in the hospitals and a shortage of anti-retroviral medicines to hold Aids at bay. With the wave of hope and change that President Obama brought on, I can only hope that change will come to Zimbabwe. Where no-one fears being beaten, raped, disappearing, yes..I totally understand propaganda but there’s no smoke without fire ne? I’m sorry if you heard that I wished you’d also had the shoes thrown at you like George Bush,I know I wished they were Timbalands and it was the greatest shot-putter in the world throwing them at you, it was a joke Mr President, but that’s because of the anger I feel, how can that beautiful nation die whilst the world looks on?

So for 2009 I pray that we will be talking about rebuilding the little beautiful nation, and I promise Mr President to bring all my non-Zimbabwean friends to Zimbabwe with me this December, yes, I’ll take them to see the Great Zimbabwe ruins that our fore-fathers built in the 11th century, let them overlook Mozambique from the Nyanga Mountains.

It would be rude of me to not thank you for the 29 years worth of history whether good or bad, you've sure made it into history sir!. I still smile when I hear your voice, your wit Mr President, your remarks and your jokes. I remember the man that is Robert Mugabe, the man my father calls ‘friend’, the well-educated man that you are Mr President, ensuring that Zimbabwe hailed and still hails as one of the countries with the highest adult literacy in the world of approximately 90%. Thank you sir and thank you for letting Zimbabwe rise once again in 2009! I'll always sing along to Henry Olonga's Our Zimbabwe

(video below)

And the video below is some Southern Rythm, its in both Shona and Xhosa!Basically saying home is home!!Ekhaya is ekhaya as we would say!!

Update - Morgan Tsvangirai has agreed to join the Unity Government today : 30th January 2009 - Does the sun shine on my Motherland??

Romantic Moments...Share!!

2009-01-21T15:02:00.012Z

Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
William Shakespeare

Scenario: some beach in England. Kate is walking her dog and then she comes across a picnic basket, that’s washed up on shore, the beach is always isolated, so she wonders where has this come from! She inspects the basket, sees there's a bottle with a note in it and of course Kate reads it and it says

“If you’re a woman aged between 18 – 35years, are bored and lonely and fancy a shag text me (Joe) on 0777777777. PS: Enjoy the goodies in the basket they’re for you”

Kate takes the basket home, on New Year’s day she’s bored, and so texts back to that number ‘Thank you for the sweets’ The texts start going back and forth, he tells her the 'shag' bit was just a joke, she buys it, gosh he seems so great!And as is the norm in 2009, they add each other on Facebook, they both say they like what they see . Kate thinks he’s the most romantic guy, all that Message in a Bottle movie stuff, and so now they’re in a relationship and she can’t wait to find out what he has in-store for Valentine’s Day! This is not fiction!!

Now, Kate is no way like moi, because for starters, I don’t have a dog and no intention of getting one, actually unlike the animals on Animal Farm I say ‘Two legs good, four legs bad’ Apologies to animal lovers! But I just don’t do pets. I wouldn’t see a random washed up on shore picnic basket and think ‘Ooooh, let me check what’s up’…You would see me doing a Usain Bolt, that even the dog would wonder what’s going on or maybe even run away from me… for I would think ‘unattended package, goodies and a note in a bottle’..Osama has come to get me and he’s left me a suicide note…As for taking the snacks home, it would depend, if they were Belgian chocolate and I had the dog with..err before I say this I apologise to the animal lovers..but I'd let the dog eat the Belgian choc first...Oh Gosh I'm so not coming back as a dog in my next life!! If I did get the courage or rather my insane curiosity to read that note, I’d laugh, put it back in the bottle and back to the sea..I wouldn’t want to know who sent it, why are they overly confident that some-one is going to text them back?what’s with the old school moves of sending a message in a bottle?and what disease do they want to spread…That’s just me! Yes, I confess I’m a cynic…nothing’s romantic about that whole ish..more like CREEPY..Am I being unromantic by dissecting the whole situation?Is it that I've been in London so long that I don't know what romance is?Am I alone here my dearies in thinking this ish is unromantic?

What’s your definition of romantic?What’s over-rated? My definition of romantic is when a guys listens to my rambling ons about the things I like, what makes go awwww and then surprising me with it…like a hand-written letter, is one of the most romantic gift a man would give me, the blank cards where he writes the message, a night playing all my favourite games like Connect Four(even though I suck @ this game, my lil bro refuses to play Connect Four with me..yeah…lol..), Scrabble (the real game for those who remember my last post…lol),Monopoly, Sharades. A day spent at the fun-fair or go-karting, paint-balling. Romantic is Chari's emotional post to MissButttercup(<em>Miss B, I'm still waiting o..lol)I just think roses are just so blah…I don’t do roses!! Proposing on Valentine's Day doesn't have the awww-factor for me!! There are certain moments that I think money can’t buy, and I rather cling onto a pleasant memory than an expensive pair of shoes, don’t get me wrong, I’ll wear the shoes BUT will I have a smile everytime I choose to wear them??But I also work along ‘its not the thought alone that counts, but the effort that went into it!’

The only true gift is a portion of yourself. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anyway, guys you tell me what you think is romantic?What’s the romantic memory that makes you smile till today? Talk to Shona and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

My dearies can we all make sure the Blog Idol that is AFROBABE doesn't quit on us...Afro I will dedicate my next post to you..I promise..and you'll get that chicken you like when you come to mine again..lol..Guys enjoy the video below!!

I Salute the Black Sista!!

2009-01-12T14:38:00.008Z

Dark-skinned, mulatto, caramel

The different shades of her

Tall and slim, short and curvy

The different shapes of her

Elegant and graceful

The presence of her

Sensual and feminine

The scents of her

Nurturing, hardworking and loving

The essence of her

Family and culture the roots of her

Fearless, boldness and pride

The being of her

Sexy, intelligent and damn bootylicious

The beauty of her

Multi-tasking, multi-lingual

The versatility of her

Adaptable to new environments

Coping without family and friends

Getting an education whilst working fulltime

And supporting her immediate & extended family

Still looking flyy on a Sunday after working 6 days

Crying in private whilst being bold in public

Superwoman wishes she was her

For she is the African woman

Proud to be African for that’s the soul of her!!

My last post was a celebration of the brothas, and so I once more throw in this piece for my sistas as it wouldn't be fair for me not to give them a shout out! My girl LondonDiva also did a great tribute to the sistas!

Ooooh after being hassled..lol..by Kookie, she did an interview of getting to know me..go and read on!! And I have to say she asked if I had my own Jay-Z, and NO,I don't, y'all would know about it..trust..Tigeress gurl tell'em!!..lol..Dudes, as always happy sexing xoxo

An Ode to the Brothas

2009-01-06T14:19:00.007Z

I'm not asking for the impossible

I'm not seeking the unattainable

Or is it in my mind that I think

That this is all as easy as a wink?

But then again, if it were that difficult

How come some have achieved it?

All I ask for is a good word for the brothas

When I say brothas I mean the men of colour

Sons of Mama Africa

who come in different shades and flavours

The espressos, the caramel macchiatos,

the mulattos My coffee-flavoured men,

Children of the motherland.

For they say they can’t do right by their women,

They don't stay around to raise their children

They play more games than the Premiership

They just can’t communicate with words

But I say, today my voice is the sword

That will fight for these men

The men that I know,

who stand by their teams

Who believe and work towards their dreams

The men, who toiled and still toil to bring a good name

Men whose names are held in memory halls of fame

Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mohammed Ali and

Barack Obama. These are all black men

The men who are my brothers

The men I respect

The men my mother loves

And my grandmother loved

The men who all women seek and fight for

They are the great inventors of traffic lights,

They are the first heart surgeon

They are the witty and tactful from the West side

The calm ones from the East side

The descendants of the Pharaohs from the North

The cool and suave from the South

All sons of the African continent

I shall proclaim and shout in their honour

For I know they would wear that armour

With pride and defend their dignity

The only good they have ever said about them

Is that they are well hung to which I won’t disagree,

for they come in different shades And sizes

Ooh brotha ooh brotha

They are connoisseurs of the ghetto karma sutra,

Strokes so rhythmical, a touch so tender

Kisses so endearing

Only they understand the true essence of partnership

Upgrading and making each other better

So though I still seek my own

To be the blues in my funk And rhythm in my thighs

I say Viva to the brothas!

This is an old piece of mine..having read some posts et al about how slack and whack the brothas are I just thought why not bring this one out!And the pictures are for all my gurls...feast your eyes boos..London chickas hope this will make you a tad bit warmer..lol.!!Much love to all the brothas doing it right and as always happy sexing xoxo

I still can't get rid of that .gif on my header, I mean I might have had Santa's whip but I don't need it no more...sigh...what to do..SOS any1?

I Got Some....

2009-01-02T19:28:00.006Z

It was perfect, more than perfect, I loved every moment of it, even though afterwards I was exhausted..the way it fit, the way it felt, or rather made me feel...wish you could see the cheshire-cat like smile on my face, I get a warm feeling every time I think about the whole experience....gosh...and it wasnt just a one-off, thank God I was on holidays, giving me time to relax after such a 'work-out'....wow, wow, wow, so worth it!!! My addiction was being fed. Yup, I got some.....*wink*... I got some killer heels, not just one pair BUT 4, thanks to the 'SALES', I even bought aubergine -coloured pumps (my very first pair of flats!!)...I will not be getting some shoes for a while, a long while...The whole shopping experience, I hit up Westfield's, Bluewater, Harrods, I shoved and pushed but am glad of my purchases and what's great is I didn't overspend on the money I'd set aside for the sales!! And who thought I meant some happy sexing??LOL

The holidays were great. I did get my medical check-up and tested for all that's under the sun, Shona's all good yo!!!I hosted one of my BFFs' birthday party, and my girls Afrobabe and Parakeet came to the party, had such a great time, almost missed my Helsinki flight the next day. Helsinki (Finland) was cold, I mean London ain't got nothing on Helsinki when it comes to freezing weather, the nephews loved their presents, the twins wanted to come back with their auntie...my brother kept questioning me why Mr Frenchie was still an ex (they'd gotten on well way too much for my liking), my sis-in-law enjoyed fussing over me, shame it was such a short stay but will be going back there soon. Xmas I once again played hostess to family and friends, and Santa was definitely ultra good to me though he didn't send me a hunk, he was still good to me..lol...NYE, I went to church of course and then went partying with my friends and lets just say I'm still recovering, gosh I did party hard, had some Disaronno, wine, champagne et more...sigh, was making up for the most part of 2008 I didnt drink..lol..

Miss Afro did complain that I wasn't talking about s.e.x that much and I did tell her it's because SHONA AINT GETTING NONE...maybe 2009 will be the year hey??...LOL...Thank you guys, you're great...

So I say Happy New Year to you all dearies, may you work towards your goals in 2009. Remember to put God first, be sure to love yourself, have self-respect, be true about all your feelings(I'm working on that), if you're wrong - do admit it,don't give up easily on your dreams because of stumbling blocks, don't say 'I love you' unless you mean it, don't be afraid to laugh at yourself, be grateful for all that you have, if you feel something's not right, maybe its not, don't be in a relationship just because you're scared of lonely, don't put up with crap sex, i beg of you DON'T..lol...don't string any-one along! Have a Fab 2009 and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

PS: Does any-one else detest the random 'Happy New Year' texts especially from people you hardly spoke to through out the year and who probably won't call you during this year??Folks who probably send it out to all on their entire phone-book! I so don't appreciate them! And I just cleaned out my phone-book today...yup I deleted some numbers!!!

I can't delete that 'Vixen got's Santa's whip'....sigh...I do feel naughty..who to call and *whip*...lol...

9 Ways to Have Mind-Blowing Sex Tonight!!!

2008-12-17T15:28:00.009Z

Now, now this is Zane’s work (those who’ve read her work, especially the Sex Chronicles know that she’s one lady who gets all hot on paper!! or watch Zane's Sex Chronicles on Cinemax - hot!) and not mine.Me being me, I've commented on each of these ways!! I know some ain't getting no action, but no harm in knowing the tactics right??And me thinks some have done these, a few peeps come to mind, just won't say who...lol..

1. Use your car for more than driving

The next time you two pull into the garage, see how far back that passenger seat reclines. Or better yet, hop into the backseat and go at it like two teens out on a Saturday night.

The car, the car, the car,.. I definitely can say the car is for more than driving!!Long drives being the best!!!Gosh, memories...

2. Hook up in the hallway

Rough day at work? Unwind the second you get home by dropping your bag—and any inhibitions—as soon as you close the front door. Tell your man you've been waiting to feel his hands on you all day—and then use the doorknob to brace yourselves for impact, right there in the entryway.

My BFFs have keys to my place*keys signify the level of trust*, and so they have a many - a-times just barged into my crib, so this hallway action could backfire when the doorknob would hit him where the Good Lord split him….unless its at his place...but then again improtu loving is always da best no?

3. Make love to his mind

Ask your man one simple question: "What sexual fantasy would you want to fulfill with me?" It may be as basic as wanting you to initiate sex. Or as complex as a costume and a video camera. Either way, communicating your desires and needs to each other can be the ultimate aphrodisiac. After your candid sex talk, start fulfilling his intimate wishes (if you're comfortable with them) and ask him to reciprocate.

So long as the fantasy aint about a ménage-trois’ or any other ‘somes’…(I’m selfish like that)…I’m game!!..lol...Make love to the mind people!!!

4. Get on top

Forget about the missionary position—tonight you're riding high. I know you're nervous: I'm constantly getting questions from my readers about the woman-on-top position. But you deserve to take control at times. Not only will your partner appreciate being able to lie back and enjoy himself, but you'll also feel empowered by taking the lead. And trust me, I'm sure if you need a little assistance on top, your man will help you get into the groove.

Since its been quite a while..I did laugh with my girls that I think my moves and prowess might have deteriorated…or is it like riding a bicycle??The next man just better be going to the gym!!..lol...

5. Spoil yourself

Manless at the moment? Try picking a night to tune out the rest of the world and indulge your senses at home. Turn off your phone, order in a decadent meal, and only leave your scented, candlelit bath to slip into a plush robe and head for bed. Top the night off by pleasuring yourself to sleep.

Self-pleasuring leaves me wanting more so I’ve vowed to stay away from it until I know I’m getting some

6. Get ahead of the game

Feel like you can't say even one word to your man while the Yankees are playing? Actions speak louder anyway. So long as he's not watching the World Series, be bold enough to try to tempt him away from the television with a sexy striptease. He'll remember that it's not whether his team wins or loses, but how much play he gets.

I don’t even support this one!! Chelsea and Liverpool are playing and then all of a sudden some-one is shaking their money-maker in front of the tv just as Didier is about to take the penalty….Dudes promise you’ll write to me when I’m in Holloway Prison!!

7. Disappear for seven minutes

Next time you're both at a party, sneak off—one at a time—to the bathroom, a closet or any space you can find for a quickie. The adrenaline rush of possibly getting caught will increase your excitement tenfold.

Been there, done that and I must say Oliver N’goma’s Bane has such memories…snuck out whilst this song was playing @ a party & I shan't say what happened..but I still smile whenever I hear it...

8. Use your imagination

Go alone to a coffee shop or an erotic poetry night and fantasize about sexy men you see there. Which ones look like great lovers? How would the guy in the corner handle your body? Later that night, put your mind to the ultimate challenge: See if you can reach orgasmic ecstasy by simply playing out the interlude in your mind.

Awww Hell Naw..I’d start moaning, groaning, eyes closed, lick the lips, start some rhythmical moves on the chair, So aint no way Shona going to lose her decorum at Poetry in Motion…LOL…with my girls we do use the term ‘Vulture’…when a guy looks like he could be a tiger in bed..and there's always the warning statement after they've scanned the guy 'Wait till he catches you!!'...lol...

9. Make every moment matter

Happen to find yourself in one of those awfully slow fast-food drive-throughs? When you're done shouting into the microphone, lean over to your man and, in silky-soft tones, talk dirty in his ear. Even use your fingers to explore each other's bodies in a little foreplay. But stop fooling around before you get into camera range. Don't worry, you can continue at home and really have it your way.

How hungry are we to do this??When I’ve got food on my mind, its all about the food..LOL…

PS: Thank you for loving & comforting words from my last post, I found my old spark in it all, the grieving helped! I love you guys!Shona is officially off work from Friday till 8th January 2009…I’m going to Helsinki for a couple of days, so excited!!Who knows I might go to Lapland too to check if Santa has me on the naughty or nice list…lol…I intend to rest and boy oh boy who knows what else might happen..watch this space..lol..

*side-bar* I just thought of the last episode of Desperate Housewives where Gabby n Carlos are in bed and he's telling her when he knew he was going to marry her...now that's L.O.V.E.(J-Hud style)!

Dudes, once more Shona loves ya and as always happy sexing xoxo

One More Angel in Heaven, One More Star in The Sky....

2008-12-11T12:44:00.012Z

I knew it would be a matter of time, but somehow, somehow I prayed for a miracle…isn’t God, the God of miracles? Every time I thought about it, every time I looked at you, I tried to be brave, I’d smile, I’d hug you and even joke with you but my heart ached. You wrote your first poem, so sweet, few words but it meant a lot to me, you really were trying your best. You were confused, you didn’t understand, you were a child! You asked me ‘Aunty, why does it have to be me?Why cant I be running outside like other kids?Did I do something wrong?’ I had a lump in my throat, and I wasn’t able to answer your questions, instead I hugged you and cried, because I’d been asking God the same questions.

On Tuesday 11th December 2001 @ 3.31pm leukemia won the battle, my heart and my faith were broken, shattered and never was I to be the same! We knew the day would come but still... 7 years on, one would think I’d miss you any less but I don’t. Time heals all wounds? Not this wound!! Everything happens for a reason they say …7 years on I still haven’t got a clue what that reason is! Had you lived your life like Grandpa I’d understand, but you were 6, you would be a teenager by now, again I have a lump in my throat! Remember when you asked your nursery teacher if she’d smoked weed, when she tried to force you to run? That’s become the family joke…You'd say how some-one reminded you of an animal, and now I say it all the time, you won't believe how many squirrels, locusts, and cats I've spotted..LOL..!Remember our dance routine to He Wasn't Man Enough by Toni, your were poorly then but would insist we dance to it...I have a lump in my throat everytime I hear that song! Your wit, jokes, snide comments were too grown for you, but I guess you had to leave us with something to always say about you!!If only just for a minute I could hug you, see your smile, see your dimples (we called you TRIO because you had 3 dimples), but I can’t. All I can ever do is miss you, remember you and hope to see you again! I have your name tattooed on my back, a cute lil cherub too!!

Everything I succeed in is a dedication to you, for I know you’re looking over me, you were the greatest niece & god-daughter, I loved you like my own and I do take care of your daddy, for he hurts too!Lil Angel, we all still hurt! Today will be a long day for me, I will cry for you but I’ll get through it!As for Christmas, there’s always an angel we put up for you as is tradition! This is the most difficult post I have ever written, I thought of not writing it BUT you deserve more than a post! Lil Angel…I miss you like mad, always will and one day we’ll meet again!!Keep it cool and fab up there for me cherie-coco!!

To my darling Audzz, I know today isn't an easy day for you too, as we also remember Papa Audzz!I heart you for being such a great friend...To all those who've lost their loved ones, trust me when I say, I know the pain of such loss!But lets be the best we can be so as to make the angels looking over us smile!! Love always Shona and unfortunately I can't sign off as always xoxo

A Call so Sensually Seductive....

2008-12-08T03:03:00.012Z

The voice, let me start with the voice. It wasn’t Barry White deep no, it wasn’t Marvin Gaye soothing, no, it didn't possess Johnny Gill’s ‘My, My,My’ pitch, it was smooth, Galaxy chocolate smooth…more like Idris Elba’s voice, when he’s being Idris Elba and not Stringer if you get my drift…the sexy Londoner voice! It was an inviting voice, I felt comfortable, I led this voice into my world, Shona’s zone. This voice wanted to understand why I seemed to like the cockiest men, Simon Cowell, Jose Mourinho, Kanye West, Diddy,Sir Alan Sugar, Gordon Ramsey et more .How I actually found cockiness attractive, but we all know, that if he can back up his talk, then every man has a right to be cocky so long as he doesn’t turn into an arrogant ass. LOL…I was so comfortable, comfortable enough to say that I love Westlife, had loads of NewKidsOnTheBlock(when they were still kids..someone say Jason!!) posters back in the day, how I’d day dream I was a member of the Beverley Hills 90210 cast (the ol’ skool one with Brenda and Brandon). The voice listened as I raved about the shirts from Duchamp London, how I would delicately take it off a man, because I understood it was a quality shirt. How I clearly love Ozwald Boateng and his designs. My love for Marmite…yikes, I could hear him cringe, and I imagined the look on his face, I smiled, he told me he felt my genuine smile.

I opened up, told this voice how I had many walls, barricades around my emotional zone because I feared being cut, I’d been cut once and after that I made sure I didn’t get to the point, once I started liking some-one, I pushed them away, there’s no room to allow it happening. Only I can guard my heart, thus the many barricades…the voice understood. Understood that after being 4years with some-one, being their friend, lover, shotgun rider, and then it ends, there’s a part that dies…The voice also understood how I'd moved on but whoever came after would have to be a notch higher for despite his flaws he'd been a man not a boy. He laughed when I told him that I'd qui-qui'd enough in the 4 years!

I shared my intimate dreams, how I wished I met one who knew the power of the forehead kiss, how it’d weaken me and how I found it the most endearing of kisses. Yes, didn’t I just say I let that voice know how I was so sensual? So are you a freak Shona? I questioned what was his definition of a freak? Was he talking about the Michael Jackson kinda freak?or the lady in the street, and a freak in the sheets kinda freak? He had this laugh, so so sexy, yes even his laugh was sexy. Gosh, then how could I not be weak and say everything?I rambled on as if I’d had a whole bottle of Amaretto Disaronno. I enjoyed how it was all non-judgemental even after I mentioned that I’d taken pole dancing lessons for fun and not so that I could get a gig at Spearmint Rhino. He laughed even more when I told him about the dinner at Spearmint Rhino with my girls and my cousin..how my cousin had all the girls boob-flashing and call him ‘Big Daddy’, they probably thought we were all his bunnies..lol…and how because he liked one of my girls my cousin didn’t even look at all those mammary glands. He shared his own experience at a strip club, he told me about his ‘friend’s’ obession, how I questioned if ‘friend’ was really him?The way he denied it, even after we were talking about something else. He that doth protest too much I remarked....lol

And then he mentioned that he would be able to croon me to sleep?Really??I asked him what song would he sing? And he just rhymed out,

‘One Love, One Love, You're lucky just to have one love, One Love, One Love,you're lucky to just have one’!

OMG, I smiled, he’d just done Whodini!!…so I asked if I didn’t fall asleep after that would he then start chanting ‘Fight the power’? He then screamed out annoyingly ‘Flavor Flav’, but I still smiled, yes he had such an effect on me!We spoke a little about our love for ol' skool hip-hop.

I wondered if he knew that I’d twirled with my hair, played with my feet, licked my lips, closed my eyes , I’d seductively strutted my stuff as if I was on a runway as I paced the room a couple of times, picked up a coin and tossed it in the air quite a few times, rolled on my bed, and more whilst talking to him? I didn’t want the call to end but I had to end it, I told him that this had been the best ‘Anonymous’ call I’d ever had. How even though I wished those I knew were more like him, I didn’t want to know him beyond that call, I wanted him to remain anonymous because though I’d loved talking to him, I’d found solace in the non-judgemental ease of our conversation, how I could totally be myself with him, without worrying about him throwing it back in my face tomorrow, I loved it all! And the best part was he wouldn’t enter into my world, he’d remain anonymous to me though he claimed I’d given him my number years ago!So, to Mr Anonymous I say ‘thank you, I found myself again in talking to you. I found my smile &sparkle!’

PS: I have been out two weeks in a row and must say I've had good fun with my peeps...went to Seductive Saturdays last week and that might have been my last visit to that place!..lol..Nway I hope you're all well, take care and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

The Voice Within Speaks!!

2008-11-28T13:21:00.015Z

Shona Dearest,

Can you believe it?2008, is almost over and what a year it has been! Remember how on the 1st of January 2008 you said you’d make a resolution of not to make a resolution because by February people are back to their old habits?LOL. Well done on finishing the book ‘London Tears’, a difficult project for you, having to meet the mothers of knife-crime victims, now that was one of the darkest weeks for you in 2008, but you wanted your work to be as real as possible and that ‘artist’ who swindled you out of your money for the cover?But don’t worry as you strongly believe in karma baby..All in all you saw it through. Remember how you found it interesting to read the Zimbabwean constitution (your friends think you’re nuts by the way) and how Papa Vixen enjoyed that conversation you two had about the constitution! The credit crunch has meant 'SALE' is your bestfriend, you've made the most of Black Friday too(those getting their presents won't even know..lol), you've wondered why it seems the world is angrier, the knife/gun crime, the suicide killings, the incest of the animal that is Fritzl, poor baby P and many more.

Gosh, now lets share a few moments of 2008.

1. Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt and Kirsty Coventry – wow, wow, wow!!

2. Nelson Mandela & Barack Obama – two first black presidents of their respective countries; one turned 90 and another is Mr President – Elect!!

3. Lee McQueen & Isaac Dankyi-Koranteng – the Apprentices 2008, one in UK and the other in Africa - Lee even though he’d been economical with truth on his cv he still got the job…hmmm and how daper was Raef on that programme?

4. Zimbabwe – the motherland, the birth place of all your dreams. The country that still pulls the strings of your heart, they voted or did they??And then had a re-run with one candidate, and then signed a coalition deal..or did they?I know you're fed up!! You wonder whether we will have our Obama – maybe a Ndebele guy lead this country – no I’m not trying to start a civil uprising…just speaking my mind(and I'm Shona thus the name ShonaVixen!). There’s the highest inflation in the world, food shortages, cholera outbreak, and these two men are playing field with such a gem of a country!They're fighting about the Ministry of Defence - hello..why not put under the council of ministers as your dearest brother 'Mdu' the brains behind NewZimbabwe suggested? Mugabe and Tsvangirai need to be arrested..Zimbabweans don't even defend Tsvangirai, he's behaving like he gone lost his marbles (sorry for the ebonics..lol)I pray that a solution is reached before the end of 2008…2009 we can do it!! One thing that you also pray for is that there is no war, thats the last thing Zimbabwe needs!

5. Vocoder Pandemic– as if T-Pain wasn’t painful enough…it seems everyone wants to do it..sigh..we already don’t think T-Pain has any talent (though you’ll find me snapping my fingers and doing the step EVERYTIME I hear that song), so you get mad when talented folks like Kanye or RKelly use that damn vocoder!! You've promised me that we will boycott any of our fave African artists who decide to follow suit..the Chipmunks version of Gongo Aso is about all we can take in..lol..

6. February 12 2008 – The Writer’s Guild of America strike came to end!!I celebrated..you’d had enough of re-runs! Gossip Girl, Ugly Betty, DirtySexyMoney – all these are your guilty pleasures.

7. Blogville – you joined blogville not really knowing why you were adding more to your load but you’ve met great people!

8. Michelle Obama,Miriam Makeba, Lil Wayne, Tyler Perry, 9ice, Psquare, Beyonce, Kofi Anan, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Ekene Onu, Chris Rock, Isaac Hayes, Keyshia Cole - You raved either about them or their work at some point this year!

8. Handwritten Letter, Cute shoes, Chanel watch,Nintendo Wii - some of things on your Christmas Wishlist, and what you'd value most would be the letter, how I know you yearn to receive a letter not an email/text/facebook message but a letter that would make you laugh/cry, emotional words on paper!!

These moments and more happened in 2008, but you made it thus far. So as much as you might be disappointed that you didn’t achieve all the goals set, be proud of those that you achieved, still dream big, still have faith and keeping believing in yourself. Do share this advice I'm giving you with others. You didn’t listen to me sometimes, you know you’re stubborn, but I must say you didn’t disappoint me much. As the cold wind brushes your face, take it in, its your loved ones sending you a kiss. Keeping loving you Shona, and gurl do you!!!

Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.

Love,

The Voice Within

PS: The last post was actually 'fiction', didn't happen, as in I didn't get some..as to whether it ever happened in the past...I plead the fifth!!lol..to those who were envious, sorry folks maybe next time..lol..That was an edited extract from 'London Tears'..Take care guys and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

Game On!!

2008-11-24T12:41:00.013Z

We were both avoiding having this conversation about us. I didnt want to discuss any further how he'd been relagated to the 'Platonic' league. I'd wanted him for so long but I had gotten the message and had gotten off him. A part of me had been re-ignited by seeing him so close , smelling him, musky and dark, dancing with him, laughing and being myself around him. As much as I tried to fight it, something was happening to me. There was a throbbing were words can never be spoken and are never spoken. This throbbing got more intense the closer we got to his house. I tried to think of something that would take my mind off this but nothing seemed to help. Trying to fight hormones and intellect is a difficult battle. He gave me the forehead kiss and hugged me tight. I think we kissed, I cant remember or choose not to. What I do remember is him saying to me

“Shona , I’m sorry for being the plonker playing the game I know pride, ego and just being a brotha keeps me from keeping it real. You know I'm feeling you right?But hey, I'll take the friendship card that you're offering”

I smiled, could he be playing the game uptill now or was he just being sincere. I wasn’t falling for that. I had let my guard down, Shona, this Shona had done what she’d never done, laid it on the table for a brotha, had given him hints, hell I’d traded places and had gone all manly on him but he had been acting up, so I’d had enough of it all!

“Thank you, but I guess I’m tired of games. So I guess we can be cool friends”. With that I tried to open the car door but he stopped me. His hand on mine, we did a little thumb wrestling. He leaned closer, close enough for me to smell him, close enough for my heart to start racing, close enough for us to kiss, but we didn’t.

‘Cool, so lets get on with the game then.Scrabble that is!’ We seductively eyed each other, I looked into those ebony eyes, gosh, this man could smile with his eyes, Tyra Banks would be impressed. He definitely had kryptonite, he did the old skool LL Cool J licking of lips, those kissable lips, and he flashed his white teeth. Now, this was wrong, instead of me screaming that its not time to be playing any games even Scrabble, I lost all that logic and stunned myself by saying ‘Be prepared to lose!’ This had been our first date, I knew I had been wrong to actually expect nothing to happen and yes my girls had sung that Monica song to me ‘I wanna get down but not the first night!’, but who were they to preach?Really, I’m not that naïve to think that this ‘Scrabble’ would just be a game of words but here I was at 2.00am claiming to be here to play ‘Scrabble’…maybe that was secret code word for something else! I told myself that I had enough will-power to resist him but I was so wrong!

We got in, I scanned the environment, very tidy but what did I expect? The man already looked tidy, he looked so casually daper, a man who obviously valued his appearance, Ozwald Baoteng shirt (if only he knew that I loved Ozwald’s play with colours?I loved a man who wasn’t afraid to rock OB’s colours), jeans, and the shoes…swexy swagger! He offered me a glass of wine, I opted for tea, yes o tea, please with this weather and also I did say I wanted to be in control here!! Game on, his first word ‘SEXY’, I smiled at the coincidence, Mother Universe don’t you even start! I just did the plain ‘SWAYS’ and then his next one was ‘HORNY’..lol..Ok he was clearly cheating, how could he really be getting such letters?I wanted to play innocent Scrabble, really!!

He laughed, and suggested a break…He put some music on, hmm, why oh why was this temptation? My song of the moment, Beyonce's 'Hello' and like the song this man had me from the moment he'd said 'Hello'!Next thing I know he’d laid me down on his bed, and I felt myself sinking, movement underneath me, a waterbed. Really? Now my curiosity would be satisfied as to what waterbeds felt like. Motion, calm motion, erotic and arousing, I could feel his firmness, roundness, I licked my lips reflexively, my hands went on a discovery journey, why just feel, when I could also touch and look at it. This was it, juicy, dark, well-defined, a vision of true mastery, his maleness could have been used by Van Gogh, it was true art! In the throes of passion, my fingers dug deep into that well-toned muscular back, as he rhythmically moved closer, the bed joined in the motion. I found myself breathing heavily and moaning. Moaning.

Baby I love to see you walk into the room

By the shining lighting up the place
And when you talk everybody stop
Because they know you know just what to say and,
The way that you protect your friends Baby,
I respect you for that
And when you roll you take everyone you love along
I love that shit
Don't fly me away
Don't need to buy A diamond key To unlock my heart
You shelter my soul
You're my fire when I'm cold I want you to know... You had me at hello

Guys...I love you, really I do!and as always Happy Sexing...

Priorities, Priorities!!

2008-11-18T12:53:00.010Z

The fun is when you do it first time honestly without looking at the answer.

Sigmund Freud's Priorities

Five things are happening in your house at the same time.

In which sequence would you solve them?

1. The telephone is ringing!

2. The baby is crying!

3. Someone's knocking or calling you from the front door!

4. You hung the clothes out to dry and it is beginning to rain!

5. You left the tap on in the kitchen and the water is already overflowing!

In which sequence would you solve these problems? First write YOUR sequence from 1 to 5 then check the first comment how your decisions were made.

My response was 2,5,3,4,1. The logic behind my answer was: I had to tend to the baby first because I really cant stand crying babies,(y'all know there are some Pavarotti-upper-register cries)so thats my main focus, then rush to the sink(have had a flooding in my kitchen twice this year, not fun at all), I'd then go to the door because for some-one to be hollering at me by my door they really know me, and since they know me, they could help me take the clothes down from the washing line. The phone, ah well, it will go to voicemail and they'll leave a message!!...Yup I thought this through..LOL...and once you find out about each task,Shona didnt need Freud to tell me that's how my priority list is, lol, its just so spot on..lol...the tap had to be in the top 2...lol...

PS: You know how I get bored easily right, I'm off Facebook, my phone's now semi-permanently on silent(I return calls should they be worthy) and now I'm contemplating going off blogville for a while..Lemme join Afro and Parakeet on that hiatus..lol..(I feel my writing's now stagnant and/or boring if I say so myself. This blog was where I could escape to whilst writing London Tears, I've finished that project, and maybe it drained my writing juices...) I'll still comment on your pages BUT I'm kinda not feeling it @ the moment...?And having taken several projects on, plus law school, my time is becoming less and less!!Who knows I just might miss you much and get back here manyana.as the key word was contemplating.lol...

True rnb folks go and get Beyonce's new album(i didnt Limewire this one, its a legit purchase..lol)....there's some great music on that album...Ave Maria, Halo, Hello, Brokenhearted Girl and hmmm Ego has a sublimnal message *its too big, too strong,wont fit,*...lmao... sounds like she be talking about Jigga's eerrr errr...lol

Dudes, Shona is saying Love you dude and as always happy sexing xoxo

Confessions...Would you???

2008-11-16T21:11:00.007Z

Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing Helen Rowland

This topic came to mind whilst watching my fav new show Lipstick Jungle(I'm mad that its been cancelled!!)...When you cheat on a cheater should you confess??Would you start singing like a canary about all you did or would you keep quiet?Alternatively, you cheated but not on a cheater, would you like Usher, croon about all your confessions because maybe what you did might come back to haunt you or stalk you??...Have you ever confessed??Or is it what they dont know wont hurt them?Would you only confess under duress?Because we all know a guilty conscience does tend to play havoc too!But then again sometimes, after all the honesty, you might lose what you had(yeah yeah I know the price you pay for doing the sin anyway, but is there consolation for you coming out with truth?)...would you??Personally, I plead the fifth...lol...

“A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession." Albert Camus

How's been your weekend homies??I am exhausted, just got back from Ikea...my bed broke...yup I broke my bed!(guess its just not MDM breaking her bed..lol)Nope, I wasn't in the throes of passion , I wish I was because that's good reason to break the bed...sigh...got the bed about 6months ago, I assembled it myself and guess I didnt do a good enough job...this time I'm having a friend fix it for me...and my 7yr old god-daughter Bimbims, managed to tell any-one who cared to listen today that 'Aunty broke her bed!!'...lol...So besides trips to Ikea, I wasnt feeling well all of last week, had an asthma attack Monday, hadnt had one in a while, and bless Bimbims who I was babysitting that evening...poor kid cried and cried on our way to the hospital(she's been watching Eastenders and thought I was going to die like Dawn's man:her words)..My cute laptop also crashed on me this past week, I lost pictures, my music, and my book!!Luckily also have the book on USB, but a part of me crashed on knowing its just not on the laptop any more..aah well such a week...I however did go out partying to Movida on Friday...good fun considering it was with Mr Frenchie and his Merrill Lynch colleagues, and all the other groupies that come with city guys(I have never liked that kinda of lifestyle(one of the reasons Mr Frenchie is an ex)...Shona doesnt get impressed by the money-throwers...but it was good fun..patron on ice)! I was also meant to go to Seductive Saturdays (so seductive - Fiddy style...lol...havent been seduced there yet though...lol..)but my girl ended up cancelling her birthday do there..its been a while since I've heard Gongo Aso in a club...lol...

Nway dearies, talk to Shona and as always happy sexing! xoxo

PS: Blogger is hating on ShonaV dont know why...hope you'll be able to post ur comments

Thin Line Between Love & Hate

2008-11-08T23:30:00.010Z

Its a Saturday evening and I’m home, I have no intentions of leaving my warm home, I'm loving being by my lonesome. My sister said to me that sometimes she feels its a dream that Barack Hussein Obama II is the President-Elect, a brotha is taking his too cute family to the White House...WOW!!Barack Obama has had the butterfly effect on the whole world, by flapping his wings of hope in the USA, there has been a earthquake of hope, faith and daring to dream world over!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go.~Dr. Seuss

But lets not just bask in this ambience for the moment whilst the news channels, BET and newspapers cover this and then we set back to routine. YOU CAN DO IT!! It works for all of us, and its never too late to start working on your dreams. Some will say finances don’t allow it, time doesn’t allow it, circumstances, their partners, their children BUT i say if you really want something then go after it! Aint no stopping us now!!

‘You know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul’ Julie de Lespinasse

Carrying on from my last post, where I questioned love and lust...now I take it up a notch!!When does love turns lethal, when the thin line from love is crossed to hate! Mr Frenchie(the ex) complained that I wasn’t jealous...and that was a bad thing apparently!!But thats just ShonaVixen... Jealousy is a self-defeating emotion that can drive away the love that we all crave. Apparently there is healthy jealousy and this type of jealousy is a protective fight to maintain your relationships. Would you sit by while a person seduces your spouse or deceives your child? No, you would fight for them. You would do all you could to declare truth. However there is the unhealthy jealousy too...some end up obsessed and consumed by it! They try to destroy the other person and sadly some do it physically and literally end lives. So how does one’s hurt not turn to hate? And sometime vicious hatred?Some go through phones, I don’t (not because I have anything to hide on my phone) some check and trace their partner’s Facebook bordering on stalking, some become friends with the boys just to get the 411 and start chasing on him/her..Some call all the girls on a guy’s phone and assess how you know the guy...yup I received such a call this week from a female who said she was this guy's girl (and he's no more than a pal in my books)she was checking that I wasnt his bust-it baby/jumpoff or wateva and I was like ‘WTF?’, I just kissed my teeth and hung up! Varghk, what if its a business associate she calling?VARGHK!!!And its not just the women, men also do it, they stalk(I have my girl's ex who not only stalked her but stalked us her girls too...he made my life hell for a while and even when I see him today I still shudder!), some will kill, torture all in the name of jealousy or love gone bad. So is it high levels of insecurities?Unrequited love?Lack of trust?

What have you done in the name of protecting your relationship?What have you done after a bitter break-up or thought of doing but didn’t do?LOL...Go on and share with moi!To those who are getting some (coz I've found out its dry season for some..lol)...happy sexing xoxo

RIP Miriam Makeba..i sang Qongqothwane and did the Pata-Pata!!Your songs will always bring me joy.Hamba Kahle Mama Afrika

Question Existing....

2008-10-30T20:54:00.012Z

"Lust is what keeps you wanting to do it even when you have no desire to be with each other. Love is what makes you want to be with each other even when you have no desire to do it." Judith Viorst

Does it start from lust then with time it grows to love??? Whats your take on it all?Love and lust are a healthy combo?Is it lust that blinds people and they think its love?Where do we draw the line?Is it really love that allows some to invite a convicted felon(eg attempted murder)into their hearts?Because love says see the good in people?People change..right??Foolish love or foolish lust??Can there be love without lust?

Sorry y'all this post is rather short, I'm kinda busy but didnt want to neglect you guys(half a loaf is better than none..lol.), I'm putting Miss Buttercup on blast..she's promised to get me those multi-coloured Balenciaga sandals(yes, I'm going to keep talking about them..lol), and I've promised to stalk her till she gets them for me...damn those shoes are just orgasmic...talking of orgasmic its official its been ages y'all, my eyes are drifting to the nether regions when talking to guys..ok I might have done that sometimes but now its just out of control.Guess my engine needs a complete overhaul and some lusting..lol..ah well...

My dearies talk to Shona and as always happy sexing(eg Bondgirl)!xoxo

PS:When I do my next update my man Barack might be in the White House!Go Barack, those in America - please vote!! Lewis Hamilton might also make history this weekend...gots to love the brothas!!!

UPDATE: LEWIS HAMILTON IS F1 CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!!!Now just waiting for Tuesday!!

UPDATE 05/11/08 : Chelsea lost to Roma last nite, I was bummed but I'M OFFICIALLY OBAMAFIED!!!Barack Hussein Obama the Leo did it!A change has arrived and i just shudder to think how many lil babies are going to be named Barack or Obama...gosh Barack you made me cry this morning and now wouldnt it be just icing on the cake if you and Madiba said an inspirational speech together?!?Wouldnt that be something?!?...Folks go and be Obamafied..the Audacity of Hope got us smiling today!!

Two Words - Great Impact!!

2008-10-22T13:50:00.002+01:00

Thank you,

Two words,

Yet so powerful

Gratitude

Appreciation

Warmth

Love

Admiration

Sincerity

Joy

Emotions felt

When one says

Thank you!

"An attitude of gratitude creates blessings."-- Sir John Marks Templeton

How many times do we look at what’s wrong with our lives? When we complain about the credit-crunch, the highest inflation rate in the world in my homeland, our friends, lack of extra money to buy those Balenciaga sandals (m sure some-one will get the hint and get them for me..lol…), our naughty children, the men in our lives, the women in our lives…you get my drift don’t you…we complain! But how often do you stop and say Thank You? One of the two magic words my mom taught me growing up, the other was ‘please’. I’ll give you an example, if you gave some-one a gift and they somehow didn’t say thank you for it…would you give them another gift or you would mutter ‘ungrateful git?’ So don’t you think the main Man is the same..ok he mightnt say the word 'git'?In order to attract more of the blessings, shouldn’t we thank him for those that we already have? When we pray most of the times we’re telling him what we want, but lets also just pray to say 'thank you, I see that you’re working wonders in my life and I am ever so grateful'.

Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary. ~ Margaret Cousins

I always feel so happy when a blogger says to me ‘thank you’! I feel like I’ve actually helped some-one with my words or support…so how often do we say thank you to those outside of our virtual world?And Thanksgiving Day shouldnt be just a one day thing, it should be EVERYDAY!! Those two words can touch and warm some-one who was feeling unloved, they can brighten up some-one’s life and most of all they make them feel appreciated. And we all love knowing we are valued for our uniqueness, the essence of us and just being who we are! Guys I urge you to text/fb/email/call or whatever form of communication you choose to use to say THANK YOU to all those in your lives and dont forget the Main Man above!! Make a list of all those that have helped you this year alone...you'll be surprised how you could have over-looked their act of kindness or maybe they didnt even know that they helped you at the point in time...thank them!! Thank YOU for passing through this page, my special ones (u know yourselves) thank you, and as always happy sexing!xoxo

Loving You Some You!!!

2008-10-08T11:44:00.007+01:00

"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection". Buddah

We spend too much time working, taking care of others(children,husbands,parents etc) and the last on the list is usually ourselves. Imagine the lengths some of us go through to show those around us we love them..like picking out the perfect birthday presents, or do some silly things all in the name of love (check my gurl MDM's page), send your loved ones texts etc BUT do we go to the same lengths for ourselves?? My parents always echo the same mantra to me 'Take care of no.1..you, you and you!' Now, self-love is not to be confused with selfishness, arrogance or being conceited, where you think you're better than every-body else au contraire mes amis..its knowing that you are a worthy human being, have self-respect, and high self-esteem. It encompasses you loving yourself : mind, body and spirit!Self-love is seen when you learn to accept yourself for who you are and don't try to be someone else! Not putting your needs before that of your children/family, of course, but simply finding time for you!

'When we love, we always strive to become better than we are.When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.' The Alchemist

I've learnt to enjoy being by myself because you will spend the rest of your life with yourself...others might stay or go but you'll always be there for you. I do enjoy intimacy so I'll run myself a candle-lit bath, playing some smoove rnb(Raheem DeVaughn is my man these days), and just relax. I do indulge in shoes(my major weakness), I read (takes me away into the world of the characters n all), day-dream and also take time out to say 'Thank You' to God in my Gratitude book every night. I allow myself to cry..(actually cried last night as I lay on my pillow..felt so much better afterwards). I also play my music loud and just dance(Beyonce's All My Single Ladies is my dance song of the moment!..lol..boy, do i bust some moves to it!!)....

I do love me some me, I understand I am not perfect, I have my hang-ups but really I do love me, flaws n all!Cue in Miss India Arie

'I'm not the average girl from your video

and I ain't built like a supermodel

But, I learned to love myself unconditionally

Because I am a queen

I'm not the average girl from your video

My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes'

I remember an episode from One on One when Dwayne and Candy decided to take time out and date themselves..was funny but I guess we all need that time to appreciate ourselves, be grateful for where we are and what we have, appreciating those in our lives and realising they are with us because of whom we are!! So how do you show yourself some love?? Ever felt so good you just wanted to kiss yourself?Do you give yourself a hug?? So go on share with ShonaV and as always happy sexing xoxo

PS: Those who havent yet read The Mrs Club by the fab Ekene Onu, grab a copy and those in the UK its now available in WHSmith...its one great book and a must-read for all!!Its my book for 2008!!

What Comes to Mind When You See This??

2008-09-26T13:34:00.007+01:00

I saw the birth of my dreams, I saw my foundation, I also saw the future for my yet unborn child,I saw a people as a whole with warmth, the beauty Mother nature gave us, (Victoria Falls, the Namib desert, the wildlife, the jaccarandas) I saw education values, I saw resourcefulness, I saw resources (diamonds, gold, oil, farming, coal,copper, educated people)I saw how I might be from the South I will relate to some-one from the East or West side of Africa! I saw history - the pyramids, Gora Island, Robben Island, Great Zimbabwe. I saw the cities. I saw the pride that we live with inside our hearts, I heard our many languages, I heard our great rythms. Yes, I also saw the dark-side, I saw the civil war in Darfur, I saw the Aids pandemic, I saw poverty, I saw the pain we go through in the diaspora to be who we are, I saw the struggle of past and present, I saw the stereo-types they give us, I saw the silent tears we've shed just because of where we are from, I saw it all BUT I also saw HOPE!!

Nkwamme Nkurumah, Kofi Anan, Julius Nyerere, King Mswati, Nelson Mandela, Wole Soyinka, Fela Kuti, Mansa of Mali - Salif Keita, Angelique Kidjoe, Miriam Makeba, Idris Elba, Wale Ogunleye, JayJay Okocha, Didier Drogba, Queen Nzinga, Agbani Darego, Winnie Mandela, Brenda Fassie, Kirsty Coventry, Tshaka, Maria Mutola, the Masai warriors and many more are all children of Mama Africa

Africa rises and stands tall and with children like all you here on Blogville, she beams with pride...

When you see this map what comes to mind and what do you see??

Say My Name..Say My Name!!

2008-09-24T15:16:00.017+01:00

Hello, my name is ShonaVixen..Miss Vixen if you nasty (lol), I've been living in London for the past 7 winters, my mother has South African blood in her and my dad is Zimbabwean(though our ancestors actually trekked all the way from Tanzania, some settled in Malawi, and some carried on to settle in Zimbabwe). I can speak French, Portuguese Creole and I understand some Wolof. I can cook okra soup, I love suya, fried plaintain, I can make a mean tabbouleh...I love Naija-pop music: Gongo Aso - which i had to google for the lyrics..the pidgin part's are ok as for the Yoruba ones hilarious...lol..No-one like You, Ifunanya, Do Me, Bizzy body ok any PSquare song, 2Face Idibia , Yahooze...so you see I've learnt a lot during my stay in London and will continue to learn! Thabo Mbeki's 'I am an African' couldnt have said it better!! Mona & Rethots thought I was Nigerian so I thought to let you know just a little bit of me...

The power-sharing agreement in Zim was signed, His Excellency said

'They are waiting for a day when this man, this evil man, called Robert Mugabe is no longer in control," he said. "And I don't know when that day is coming." So he has no thoughts of resigning?

"No — or a thought of dying," Mugabe chuckled.

I hope this agreement covers the most important factors, the road to economic recovery, removal of sanctions, a health care system, teachers back in schools...rebuilding the force that was Zimbabwe!! And then my other love South Africa??WTH...Thabo Mbeki is no longer the president, 11 ministers have resigned and Jacob Zuma who stated in court (for rape charges) that he took a shower to try to reduce his risk of infection after having unprotected sex with an HIV + female... shall lead the nation soon..*sigh*..I pray for the two countries that have their blood in me!!

I've been suffering from both writer's and blogger's block..(my book needs to be done by mid -October if its to hit the shelves in December..)and have been busy playing Scrabble with Afro..i so love Scrabble..any challengers out there??so excuse this post because once again I had to consult my dearest Mr Oscar or Mr Oooooscar if you dare go there with him..He started being all diva-ish (just because he got 5seconds of fame in a James Bond movie o), feeling all important but because i know how helpful he can be, I sucked it up and bossed him to helping me..lol..So usual routine, he throws his crazy questions, words like three-some and bondage were mentioned...did i say he was a freak??Yes, he's a freak!! I was now thinking he's just getting too freaky and not helpful when he mentioned the subject of today's post!!

In the throes of passion, some people just start talking or shouting..lol..but things are said. Some like asking questions, some declare their love, some say the wrong things, some like BondGirl said make 'African' moans..(I will personally call her to hear this one). Some have names reserved for their love-making sessions, and to my dearest men out there please dont ever, under no circumstances ask the question 'Who's your daddy?'..please I beg of you!!Because the females I know dont like that question!Unless you want them to say 'You are not my daddy o!' and I personally would start telling you that Papa Vixen is in Zimbabwe, a former CIO(Zim's version of the MI5) and he really wouldnt want to know some-one else is wanting me to call them 'daddy'...

Mr Oscar says you can call him anything so long as its not another person's name...But on the real wrong names have been said too!! That would be an ultimate passion killer..oooh yaah..calling me Betty and you know this is Shona Vixen!Be ready to say you last words...

Some want you to lie 'Say this is the best you've ever had!Say it!!'...when we all know it aint!

Some offer words of encouragement...'Yes!That's it!ooooh go on...that's right!'...

Some suddenly develop a different accent..the most popular is the American accent for the non-Americans..I wonder why??Maybe they're fans of ManDigo!!..lmao...

So my dearest people what's been said to you?What names do you like to be called??You get an alter-ego who enters the love-zone with you?? Go on share, dont be shy....and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

PS: That picture just kills me!!!!LMBAO...

What if we had The Manual of Life??

2008-09-16T21:51:00.010+01:00

My post was inspired by 'The Women', an entertaining movie I watched this past weekend with the BFF and so loved it! Imagine if there was a 'Manual of Life'? The bible is one such book I know but imagine if there was a manual like the one we have for our tvs, ipods, washing machine.. A handbook we could refer to if we wanted to deal with a heartbreak, betrayal by friends, how to follow your dreams with out fear, the right path to happiness/contentment, how to comfort your teenage daughter after a bitter divorce, how to deal with grief, the procedures, the how tos and all that. Well, I love spontaneity, learning lessons myself but sometimes I wish there was just a guide-book that would make it easier or better. So in that respect I have some Instructions to Life written by the Dalai Lama (wiv some of my comments)

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

Could I define myself as a risk-taker? Yes, I have taken risks with my jobs but them coming into my emotional life..then I have to say, this is one thing I'll have to learn and be willing to take...I fear taking risks for those who will end up disappointing me, so I guard myself well but it seems the Dali Lama knows better than me no?

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

Don't they say as one door closes, another window opens? Who out there hates losing??I so hate losing but well I wouldnt say I'm a sore loser but lets be honest..losing sucks!!But if it makes us learn a lesson and better ourselves or our approach/method then its a good thing right?But still losing sucks..lol...

3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self ,Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions.

Self-respect is very important,it determines the relationships we will allow ourselves to have, take pride in being who we are and love ourselves. Respect others and you'll be respected and not get unwarranted disrespect (though there are some individuals out there who seem to thrive on disrespecting others!!). Responsibility for all your actions - who doesnt initially blame some-one else when something goes wrong?I have done it a few times, but when I then re-evaluate the situation I realise that somehow Shona could have had a part to do with it.(even a teeny bit...heey its hard accepting I was wrong!..lol)My mom always said when you point the finger at some-one, there's three fingers pointing right back @ ya...

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

Difficult to accept at the time it happens but when we do look back we do realise that things did work out for the better after all!

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

Now the Dalai Lama must have written this one for ShonaVixen..lol..breaking the rules properly is always fun...learning the loopholes included??LMAO

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

I have learnt this one, and thats why I'm able to shout out 'I have great friends'!We talk it out, yes we disagree but we deal with it and even laugh all about it!

7. When you realise you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Owning up to say I'm sorry, hard as it is to swallow my pride and raise my hand and say those words, I'll do it. Will also correct that which needs correcting.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

I love my own company and always make sure I get some 'ME TIME'. Before I go to bed, I pray, fill in my Gratitude Book, and just think and love me some me!

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

Change is good, so long as we dont compromise who we are, hard sometimes when you're in foreign country as there are challenges of wanting to fit-in but so longs as we have our principles straight and never compromise our values..its all gravy!!

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Silence is golden so they say right? Keyword here for me is 'SOMETIMES' as its hard for Shona to be silent, I always want to have my say but when I do stay silent be very afraid...seriously..lol..

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

I guess I'm trying....

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

Praying together helps and communicating = open door policy applies

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

Hmmm, now this is easier said than done...its difficult sometimes to just argue about the here and now without reference to some scene in the past...'But you did the same thing last time', or 'You said that last month'...let go, let flow, deal with the present deed,*note to self*

14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

Thats why I love Blogville, we learn from each other, we share that which we know, we ask our inner most questions and some-one will come to the rescue. Lesson shared for me was from MamaBomboy:'Dont tell Bomboy to stop playing with the wok or he'll come after you with it'..lol..and my gurl Emilia's diet regime and she shares great recipes too...now that's commendable

15. Be gentle with the earth.

Recycle, recycle, recycle!!

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

It dont mean spend too much money on holidays, I'm sure even in our own countries, there are places we still havent been. Heey I was in Luton 2 weeks ago..lmao...

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

Wow...this couldnt have been much more truer, but then again this is the Dalai Lama. I know some females who are with men not because they love them but because they feel society expects them to have a man in their life, they feel they need to have a man...love is the best foundation.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

I just made a list of stuff I had to give up along the way and on this road that I am on ...Thank you God for bringing me thus far. I do advise you all to do this especially when you feel like you havent accomplished much, you're doubting your success and all!!

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Now I think by now y'all know how my reckless abandon to love is with those in my inner circle of trust ie my friends and family...some how when it comes to relationships I approach with extreme caution and have a barrier..me is a fragile lil thing that appears tough!

I love cooking and I always cook loads...my mama told me that you never know when a guest will come to your house so I always cook an extra portion

I hope this wasnt too long...again!!I havent been feeling too well this week, guess its a bug or something..Shona needs some TLC..lol.. Mz Dee thank you for the award, I would like to say I love you all my great friends here on Blogville (i dont have to name names coz y'all know who u are!!)and u know I dont say 'I LOVE YOU' lightly, so guys you're all fabulous.my gurls Lolo,TeeTay,Audzz n my sisters Mimsy, Alexa & Tutti Frutti I am blessed to have u in my life !!Ok hope y'all are doin fine my blogville familia and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

Question Time...Get to know me on the personal!!

2008-09-09T11:56:00.012+01:00

I'm a self-confessed 'CopyCat', but I did let my the girls know I was going to copy their questions to my blog..thanx hunnie bunnies.and my Kenyan sis Mona too.I did some editing though!! I've got a post stewing but so that I dont leave you without this week, I decided to do these questions...

1. What’s worse - Physical or Mental cheating?

Both!!So you busy thinking of some1 else, living on love island all lovey-dovey and ish you looking @ me??Dude, erase them thoughts..lol..Physically, if I were to catch any1 cheating, be it in person via text, email or online they’re dead meat!!LOL..

2. Is it easier to forgive or forget?

*Sigh* To err is human, but to forgive DIVINE!! Its easier to say ‘I forgive you’, we mightn’t be holding onto grudges, we move on et all but FORGET we don’t. I did that post ‘Secret Places of the Soul’, we do keep it at the back of mind..so answering the question..i guess forgiving is easier but not easy!!

3. Can men and women be “Just Friends?”

Hmm once we faze out the sexual tension and know that there’s no boning going on yup we can be ‘just friends’! I have errr 1 male friend who’s just like a brother to me

4. Dating co-workers?

Hmmm, nope!I call this sh*tting on ur doorstep…so when you break up you have to face each other every day? But then again think of how you could both stay late at work and actually do the do in the CEO’s office??Classic!!!

5. All expenses paid vacation to anywhere?

Tour de Afrique…yup I’d love to just explore all 53 countries of the Motherland..now wouldn’t that be something!! Some-how even though I'm in London, I've interacted with different African nationalities and have made vows to visit their home countries..first port of call - Nigeria!!!

6. Naughty or nice??

Ok I’d say I’m a lady in the streets and a freak in the u-know-where..lol…meaning I’m naughty when I want to be naughty and am nice all the time..lol..

7. Sex on the first date?

Hmmm…no…lmao..Afro dont be shocked I did say no!!LOL…ok who just coughed 'b*llsh**'?U know what... it really depends on how horny you are...lmao...

8. When you are “In Love” do you notice other people?

Ok, not to sound full of it, but they notice me instead!And its always the fine Lamman-Rucker type of brothas, who come up to me!!I’ll flirt I wont lie but it always ends there when I remind myself I have a man!!damn….

9. Is flirting cheating?

Seeing my answer on 8 you know damn-well I’m going to say NO! I’mma Flirt!!

10. If someone called you a bitch would you be offended?

Well, wiv me girls we call each other that most of the times, wiv love in it!(Wiv my girls we laughed so much when in Girlfriends they introduced the ‘b*tch jar’ coz we use it as a term of endearment..lol)But just let a brotha call me ‘Bitch’ and he’ll regret it..lol..yup double standards!!

11. Would you live with someone without marrying them?

Ok, firstly if my sister is reading this then my answer is NO!! I know culturally its frowned upon by Africans to live together before marriage! But I’d live with some-one once engaged…

12. If you were to be reincarnated as an animal, what would you want to be?

Do I get to choose where I’d be the animal?If yes, then I’d be a dog in Hollywood!!I’d be damned to be a dog in the gwashi's (village)in Africa…lol..

13. How many times would you have sex in a week?

Once I read this question, this line from Fiddy's song came to mind ‘If he be a nympho then I be a nympho’…lol..heey would do as much as I can handle!!LOL…

14. Do you squeeze toothpaste from the middle or end of the tube?

End of the tube..does it hurt any-one to work their way up?(This sounds err a bit on the naughty side ne?yup work my toothpaste tube like you would me..bottom to top…*naughty giggle)

15. What's the one thing that most people do that drives you crazy?

Besides those squeeze toothpaste in the middle??Hmmm, people who assume..i so hate it when they make assumptions that I am able to do this, that I’ve got loads of cash etc…ever had plans made out for you without your knowledge???I so don’t like that!!

16. Last time you cried?

Internally without the tears…last night!!With tears...hmmm watching Desperate Housewives - Gabby helping Carlos get dressed and he told her she looked beautiful...now that just got me shedding some tears ;(

17. Do you have any tattoos and piercings?Yes.

I have two tattoos – one on my lower back – a cherub dedicated to my niece who passed on 7yrs in December…she’s my lil angel and never will I forget her!! I also have a lil star on my right wrist..dedication to my grand-dad ‘one more angel in heaven, one more star in the sky!!’ Some1 close to me once got into it over how ‘demonic’ and ‘cultic’ tattoos are…seriously…but mine are symbolic to me and I love them!!If you think like that..heey that’s you Piercings – ears, belly (got this as a bday present 7yrs ago from a friend) and tongue(though the tongue came out 2 wks ago and not fussed about having it re-done)

18. Have you ever flirted with someone you had no interest in?

As if no-one knows the answer to this!! Lets sing it to together ‘I’ma I’ma I’ma flirt, I tell the truth and the whole truth!’

19. Ever been kissed in mid-sentence or rather mid-arguing?

Yessir, was caught off-guard but me liked it..of course..

20. Would you buy bootleg merchandise?

Is limewire bootlegging??Did you say yes??Then yessir me is a bootlegger, tell me why go to itunes when there’s limewire?I will stop when I get them letters they’ve said they will be sending out..its not like I cant afford to pay for itunes..but its free dude..FREE!!!

21. What color looks best on you?

Red and yellow and pink and green,Purple and orange and blue..I can sing a rainbow,!!...any colour looks fab on me!!yup m that full of it..lol…

22. What’s been the hardest thing you’ve had to do this month?

Going to sign language classes and not say a word..just signing…its been hard but has made me appreciate all that I am and am able to do!

And being celibate...its not easy o..cue in P-Square's song 'This Na Tempation'..lol..

23. Ever break up with someone and regret it?

Not break-up but I totally brushed off some-one(i just wasnt ready to date at that point and didnt want to lead them on) and then ‘what if’ played games wiv me …guess coz they called me on my birthday & I was like 'awwww u remembered'...

24. What's the one thing you would want to be remembered for?

My loyalty to friendships!!

25. Have you ever been to a strip club?

Of course I have! Went for a girl-friend’s dinner to Spearmint Rhino..and yup enjoyed dining whilst there was t*ts and a*s on show…them girls have mad skills! I do want to go to a Chappendales show though…

26. Who has the sexiest accents?

Indi*cough**cough*……different strokes for different folks....

Ze French…ooooh qui qui, its that certain je ne sai quoi in zeir accents and when they errr comment-dit..ahhh qui when zay say my name oooh…I dated a French guy for 4 yrs and I never got tired of the way he said my name..even the way his father said my name..lol..

27. What are your fears?

Heights!!Holes!! Losing my shoes..(lol…I have dreams about this u know..me barefoot in Zimbabwe…lol) I also fear losing the ones I love the most!!

28. What’s harder to say ‘sorry’ or ‘I love you’?

Whoa…both? Well, I’m kinda stubborn but I’ve learnt its best to always own up and apologise…as for saying I love you..i find it easier to say to friends!

If you have more questions for me fire away..lol..and as always Happy Sexing xoxo

Great Friends and Silly Refusals!!

2008-09-03T12:12:00.010+01:00

Isnt it great to have great friends!!! I was brought to tears last night by my girl,my rock, my confidant! She got me these gorgeous designer shoes(I had an orgasmic moment when I saw them shoes)...I wasnt even expecting it. We've always shared great presents, BUT this time she went all out! And its not that she forked out an expensive present (*cough*) but they way she did it(a treasure hunt trail in my house..), and what we've been through this year!I dont have many female friends, acquitances yes, but friends I can count them on one hand! And one thing I can say is we have a foundation of trust, I can say anything and they wont judge me. I value their advice, we do disagree, our views of an 'attractive' guy are different, our fashion senses are different but its how different we are that compliments our friendship! They've pushed me and supported me in my career choices, on my book-writing project! I have distanced myself from former friends because that foundation of trust was tampered with and they have been devalued to the 'acquitances' folder. Today I'd like the world to know I have the greatest friends and I so love them...through thick n thin we rise!! I have also met great people here on Blogville..u guys rock!!!

Was out of town this weekend to celebrate a friend's bday& it was good fun. Met some-one I had once offered a helping hand to, we had lost touch so it was good to see her again. At the party, there were some females who had brought their husbands to the party. People could be seen muttering, shaking their heads and all sorts...WHY? Well, because their husbands were not only much older than them BUT they were also white. People seemed to see something wrong with that picture, it really couldnt have been love or is it? I tried to defend them saying we really couldnt be judges but i was hushed by a talk to the hand gesture and that I was only trying to be 'nice'.

I'm not saying that those girls might have had ulterior motives when they married their men, but I'm saying there could be something else they've grown to love or fond of on their partner. I have also said 'Those two dont suit each other' just judging by the appearance of the couple, maybe the looks, height, weight etc. Who still wonders what Beyonce sees in Jay-Z? Ok maybe not them, because I find Jay-Z so attractive!(he has that err je ne sais quoi). A friend of mine also told me that she goes for guys that most would call ugly, but she called it 'unique'.

Sometimes we even drop potential partners because of what our friends might have said, or our parents. I know some-one who wouldnt date a guy just because he was 'too dark'! I remember a convo I had with Afrobabe (a recently acquited great friend),where I told her that there are certain accents I just wont date..lol..vain..maybe! I however have dated non-Zimbabweans, and actually prefer it that way!! So what's the silliest thing you've said 'hell naw' to?It might be silly to others but to you its not...share with me. And as always happy sexing..xoxo

How do you keep it spicy and hot???

2008-08-26T21:49:00.011+01:00

Firstly, I'd like to thank all those who sent me birthday wishes, it touched me and I got all warm n fuzzy inside. A special thanks goes to my girl Afrobabe...love you girl!

Following on from the last post we've now established that sex is VVImportant in a relationship, so how do we keep it interesting and not a mundane chore/task? So the idea of sex toys came to mind! And also not wanting to disappoint some of you's I'll mention the greatness that is Lord Rampant Rabbit Platinum Plus..lol..who's blushing?who's smiling?and who's denying any knowledge of the rabbit yet they have one? I will not be a prude and deny that which I own and use! When I purchased my rabbit it was an all girls' affair, we went to Ann Summers, giggling like naughty little girls and boy did we marvel a those adult 'toys'. The instore assistant happened to be this divine looking man, who willingly showed us the different earth-moving rabbits and their functions! I have never blushed like that before, especially when he showed us the many functions and it was whirling away. Then he asked the ultimate question 'Are you gorgeous ladies buying it as a present for a friend?', we giggled, played with our hair, smiled very suggestively and then said 'No, we all want one!'..lol..who remembers the joy you had at Christmas when you got that toy or shoes you were really wishing for? You should have seen us wanting to fly home if we could, we parted ways and told each other we would call each other with feedback...no-one called till the next day!!LOL...This toy comes with different speed levels (5 to be exact, but the art is not to have it going on too fast), the clit stimulator is out of this world, the dual rotating metal balls...i just say try it for yourself!!Hmmm just thinking of the vibrations and sensations I felt that day, tingles, electricity, shivers, damn or rather double damn!I was addicted and the joys of having your partner watch you enjoying Lord Rampant...priceless!

For men, some openly do say when the tough gets going they help themselves, right hand or left hand, some adult movies and they are good to go. And somehow its acceptable but I do know some women(especially African women) 'frown' upon those who own adult toys, and claim its not lady-like behaviour (self-pleasuring that is) but I say, so long as I dont start using the Rabbit in public dont judge me. I know I'm a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed!..lmao..toot toot..lol!!On a serious note, not all women are willing to try this and some see it as a sin

When you become director of your own choir, you get to know your body well, what stimulates you, your erogenous zones, and you become less inhibited ie more confident. Please note I'm not saying that's the only way this can be gained...as I always say there are many ways to stroke a cat! And also the Rampant Rabbit Platinum Plus is also a couple's toy, and its not the only toy out there, there are so many! Who remember's the Durex Ring advert? Rude Boy Male Toy, Rabbit Double Ring, there are also various lubes that can be used. Incorporating sex toys and also role play will keep the sex part of the relationship interesting and going! As much as I love me toys, i love the real deal more...but variety is the spice of life ne?lol

So my dears, how do you keep it spicy?Who owns our dearest Lord Rabbit?Or what toys do you have in your toy box? Share with me...and as always happy sexing xoxo

Sexual Gratification - V.V.I or Not??

2008-08-20T11:12:00.026+01:00

Unrelated to this post - today is 20.08 2008...was signing some documents when I noticed this!.. And its 4 days before my birthday!!!

Ok back to blogging, firstly I'd like to thank a friend of mine, Mr Oscar(he's an actor, and I have faith he'll get an Oscar or some award ..even a Razzie..lol..in this life-time). Anyway, I really didnt know what my next blog was going to be about, so Mr Oscar, kinda of helped to reach this subject. Initially he had told me to blog about either 'masturbation' or 'sex toys'..but when he mentioned masturbation, my mind then went into over-drive, I'd been given the push I needed!

Sexual Satisfaction Survey

a) Very Very Important

b) Moderately Important

c) Not Important

d) None of the above - Give more details

If you were to answer which one would you pick? Mr Oscar picked (a), he didnt even stop to think he just went straight for (a). Likewise its also (a) pour moi. Sexual compatability is in the same ranks as emotional fulfillment, trust, love and all the other qualities I mentioned in my previous post. Its when just the mere touch sends vibrations and tingles all over my body, the rhythmical strokes, endearing kisses, blues in my funk, rhythm in my thigh kind of sensation..earth calling Shona..earth calling..oops sorry got carried away there!. So you see when I talk of sex, its just not the mere act alone, but its the intimacy that we share, expressing physically the emotions that are felt, pleasuring each other and enjoying each other. In a relationship, I feel sex is that cherry on top, icing on the cake and the umph in the relationship. For remember I did say in a relationship, where feelings have been invested not the booty call type of thing, because with that you can bail out easily.

Kay-Shawn was right when he said one of the reasons why women should cheat more than men is because not all manhoods(lol..search me for why i chose this word..lol) are the same, but thats not the case. So that means there are women out there who are putting up with bad sex (my sincerest admiration goes out to them because I wouldnt survive), how do they cope?So what happens if the sex is just not that satisfying?The one where you're left wondering why the heck is he panting because you're not even half-way near climaxing?Tell me what would you do if there was always a part of you left wanting more?You start reminscing about the past bedroom connossieurs?Do you get urself a replacement fix? Sex is also a very delicate matter in a relationship, do you openly talk about it?Just come out and say 'Boo, you're just not rocking my boat no more?', or do you just hope it gets better with time? look for it elsewhere?break-up with them giving another reason other than that it was actually all about the sex?Does the rampant platinum rabbit (lol, reason its in red coz it put a smile on my face just thinking of rampant rabbit..lol..more info in the next post!!)become your best friend?

Mr Oscar said to me that's the reason why he tries before he buys - his words not mine. So does this mean, some people dont fully commit until they have sex and then they make their choice? Sex would be like the final stage of the interview?Hmm.. Then the question of what if in all other aspects this is the Ideal Person, they ticked all your other boxes and we all know there's no perfect person out there, what would you do? Personally, I would definitely address this issue head on, talk about it, suggest some ghetto kama sutra, get him to understand the vixen in Shona, what tickles my fancy, and more. For its when there's no communication things go wrong - sexual frustration can lead to lack of intimacy in the relationship and we all know that it would go downhill from here if not resolved.

So my dearest ones how important is sexual satisfaction to you? And then have YOU ever been in a situation where the sex wasnt all that?How did you handle it or handling it?If not, how would you handle it? Hope y'all good and as always happy sexing xoxo

The entré ain't as good without somethin on the side?

2008-08-12T11:45:00.011+01:00

Firstly, totally un-related to this post I'd just like to say KIRSTY COVENTRY thank you for bringing forth a smile on my face, I was teary-eyed when they played the Zim National Anthem... 1 Gold & 3 Silver Medals..well done to you!!And as for Michael Phelps...speechless!!You're a champion

Ok now back to the matter @ hand please dont cuss me out for the the title of this post! Its Fabuloso' s lyrics for the song 'Cant Let You Go'! This is a man trying to say why he has some-one else, or 'small house as they say in Zim' .I did say to Miss DM that this would be my next post on the 'Other Woman' as I have said to be this is definitely non-negotiable, I will not ever be the other woman knowingly. The other woman has been called loads of names after the one with the cheating partner has found out, 'Slut', 'Trick', 'Heifer', 'Ho', 'Sideline Ho', 'Home-wrecker', 'Man-snatcher', 'Ashawo', 'Super Ashawo'the list is endless.

There's the deceived single female, who becomes the Other Woman unknowingly, Sister A. She's got it together, she's independent, smart, and meets this man, who says he is single, looks single, you've been to house..you do the 'checks' and yup he lives single..he ticks most of the other boxes and so you start dating. Feelings are invested, this feels right, the one you've been waiting for until the bomb strikes!After months or years of investments you find out that Mr Single is actually not Mr Single but he's mastered the art of living double lives! So she finds out that she's the other woman and here is where it either ends or begins for some. For sister A, she blames herself, her 'checks' werent that good enough, why couldnt she spot it, so after self-blame, she says well I might have been fooled this once, but wont wait to hear his 'explanation', she does feel hurt, oh yes, she's not made of iron is she? But she takes the bold move and keeps on stepping. Why stay and be the 'something on the side'? She wants to be the 'entré '! So she sees this as a lesson learned and moves on.

Then there's Sister B (Emotionalia) she finds out brothaman is married or committed BUT she doesnt go anywhere. Her emotions have been invested in this relationship, and way too deep an investment. She tries to walk away, but she's just not that strong. To every-one else around her she's way too gullible BUT she's just believing that the man she met couldnt be lying to her saying he will leave his wife/girlfriend, would he really do that to her?No, not Mr McDreamy. Maybe she's had a cycle of relationships where she's hasnt been appreciated right from child-hood, no love within the family circle, and so even though he's not hers alone, she still loved right?Why should believing a person be so wrong?She says she doesnt deserve all the names they keep saying she is.

Sister C, like Emotionalia, she has had her feeling invested in this, however once she finds out, she agrees to play by the rules after she's found out not call the house, appreciate that holidays are family-time. Maybe, like Carol in FORTY, her biological clock is tick-tocking, so as long as he will father her child she's good. She independent in every other aspect of her life, she just wants to father her child with some-one she likes.

Then there's Sister D (Venomia), she says 'Hell, you can call me names for all I care, but why did he step outside of your 'love-zone' to me?She feels she has something better to give to the man who has side-stepped, yes her love is the shhhhh! And so what he's committed to some-one else? all men cheat, so why not enter this knowingly? She doesnt need her space to be crowded, this suits her fine for she gets some when she needs some! The more committed, the better she says!And once more, dont blame him for cheating, blame the one he cheated on...he came to her so dont blame her!

There's Sister E(Dollarbillia), she like married men. She likes them because to her its all about the dollar-dollar bill!Its all about show me the money, show her the cash and you could have 60 wives for all she cares! Sugar-daddies are her fortee, hey she has many more years to worry about before she can think of settling down with the single guy..so why not enjoy?Why would she sleep with the young college guys all in the name of emotions/love when she can actually get money and more money for the older men?

With the exception of Sister A - All these sisters have problems. They mightnt know it .Sister B, she thinks that's love and embraces any form of affection she can get. She does somehow know its wrong, but still feels that her emotions are too deep and she'd be hurt even more if she walked away from this. Sister D hides behind the masks of thinking she's hott like fire, and she must have something better to give, and sees cheating as normal...she also needs to re-evaluate herself. Yes she does think she's hot, but does she value herself that much?

But I wont judge, who knows maybe they're all really and truly happy in such a situation?I know for sure I wouldnt be, call me selfish as much as you like BUT i dont like sharing when it comes to my man!!I however will lay the blame where its supposed to go..the man or woman whatever the case maybe..the cheater..who has no excuses, no valid reason..no. For he will be responsible for all the deceipt, the lies and the side-stepping. However, some do lay it down as it is, call a spade - a spade make it known that they're committed and thats where Sister Venomia comes in remember she likes them committed! And also its just not women, there are men out there who dont mind being with married/committed women(remember that blogville 'saga'..lol..see me o'..lol). This topic is one thats one of the most talked about BUT we will never ever reach a solution, for not every-one has the strength and wants to move on. In an ideal world, every one would appreciate faithfulness and the sanctity of marriage, but there are just those who claim to have an insatiable appetite, how the other person changed (so why cant you change with them?) and really I think lack of communication. No communication on how the other feels short-changed, or unhappy, rather they go and look elsewhere therefore not solving the problem...and some are just plain GREEDY!! Anyway folks have ur say...try&stay committed to those you're committed to..if you get tempted PRAY..as always happy sexing xoxo

PS: I didnt even realise it was this long...sorry guys..hope it wont put u off..xxx

Irreconcilable Differences

2008-08-06T12:24:00.008+01:00

So, I took the Do Right Man Quiz on Essence.com. Boy was I thrilled when it had Lamman Rucker, as one of them!!I've liked this fine, sexy, delicious, scrumptuous hunk from when I first saw him on Half&Half, loved him more in Why Did I Get Married. !I was so mad when Jill Scott was apparently dating him, just because y'all acted as a couple dont mean you're now a couple!!LOL..The quiz got me thinking, I went back to the list and checked my answers which I'll share with you!

1. My dream man is : Adventurous - I get bored easily.*sigh*so a sense of adventure, spontaneity would really help , witty, funny wouldnt hurt if it was Chris Rock kinda funny too!!

2. My dream date would include : A candle-lit dinner - in reality i can actually count the candle-lit dinners I've been on ..hmmm maybe thats why they said 'dream date'

3. My ideal man and I would give back to the community together by mentoring/ doing arts and crafts with children after school - ShonaVixen does like giving back BUT this hassle of filling in forms, checks and all that before i can volunteer puts me off!So right now I just donate blood and am on the organ donors list.

4. If I only had 24hrs to live I'd spend it by gathering my close family and friends together for a special evening - I'd actually request for my eulogy to be read!

5. Most Sunday afternoons I am sipping on mimosas at brunch..LMAO..mimosas @ brunch...should i check into the AA?NOT!!!Nway m a 3-month hiatus...gonna be tough..lol

6. My Ideal Do Right Man is in his early 30s

Now we know that we all have our own version of the 'IBM' (Ideal Black Man) or 'IBW' (Ideal Black Woman)engraved in our minds. Have we all stuck to that list?Or have we compromised in areas that we feel the guy over-compensates in another?We already know there's no perfect person on this earth. But what are the things that you're not willing to compromise on?You know where you meet them, their exterior might get you racing, and once they start talking you think is he for real, as its getting better with each word and then you later find out some home-truths thats make you think 'yup it was too good to be true!' And once you found that out, you'd think hard of the next decision..but what if you're into deep and its too late?What on your list is non-negotiable?You can be fully flexible but not with that?With me its intelligence, the ability to hold a mind-stimulating debate with me, the ability to challenge my thinking is so sexy to me, and as some-one who does get bored easily, I need my mind constantly challenged (I dont mean start playing mind-games with me though), Funny/Silly/Great Sense of Humour is a pre-requisite if you're Mr Moody-Blues all the time then it just wont work, Being the Other Woman, (this I cant do, no matter how good-looking or great the sex is), Pathetic Liars, those not-well thought out lies, this gets to me BIG time..if you're going to lie, dont insult my intelligence especially if you're to say 'It was to protect you!', because I know we all lie, but pathetic liars no no no! Ooooh and lousy sex..that's a non-starter for Shona ne?lol..Now you tell me what you wont accept!! And as always happy sexing..xoxo

Carnal Commandments - Booty Call Regulations!!

2008-07-30T20:38:00.010+01:00

Booty Call Commandments

I. Thou shalt get out before the sun rises

II. Thou shouldest never ask "can we see each other from now on?"

III. Thou shalt refrain from referring to ouractivities as "love making."

IV. Thou shalt not request advanced plans

V. Thou shalt kiss anything except my mouth.

VI. Thou shalt scream my name often

VII. If someone cometh over whilst thou art here, thouart my cousin from out of town.

VIII. Thou shalt not ask me to walk thee to thy car.Don't thou knoweth what it looketh like?

IX. There shall be no "pillow talk."

X. There shall be no cuddling -- ever!

Maybe you've seen these commandments before, as they are posted on OnlineBootyCall, but I'm one to wonder if there are people out there who follow these commandments?I mean like religously follow them to the tee?Hmm..these make it all seem impersonal but then again it is a booty call right? Booty Call simply put is having a sexual relationship minus the emotions, just plain old sex..ok it mightnt be plain, great sex or whatever but without all the other strings attached ie emotions, committments, loyalty, trust, any of the elements embodied in a relationship are non-existent. Yes, its possible for two people, to get together purely for sexual gratification but whether these above commandments are the guidelines I dont think so. Then I wonder is it once-a-booty-call-always-a-booty-call?Is there elevation from the Booty Call status?Or is it sometimes the whole sexing is so good, there is one party that gets disillusioned and think they're an unofficial partner? Some want more, and not happy with the status quo! Some booty-call liaisons last for years, and some weeks...depending on both parties! And truth of the matter, is that its not only the women who get it twisted with the whole booty call thing, so do men. And then some dont like the term of referring to each other as a booty call or fuck buddy preferring to say friends with benefits!Are these people trying not to make it seem so crass, try to make it sound 'better' or is it those who simply are afraid of the whole 'relationship' thing and see this as their 'comfort zone' and dont want to string another person along? How long can you be a booty-call to some-one?Do you actually have to notify your f-buddy when you've entered into a relationship with some-one else so as to avoid those late night and early morning phone-calls?A text worded 'Thanx for the gr8 sex you've been available at a whim whenever we both needed it. You can say we were sexually compatible whilst it lasted, I have however become emotionally involved with some-one so I will not be readily available. If this emotional thing I'm trying out does not go as planned, hopefully we can do this again'?LOL..

Ccall me a prude if you like but I want TTP(the total package, the kissing/tongue wrestling, the pillow talk..), unless its a one-night show, no encore and we move our own ways after that..and so if its occassional, then it better include TTP!! I dont judge those who have the ability to do so..to each his own and hey if you're happy whom am I to judge?!? speak on my dears...and as always happy sexing..xoxo

Secret places of the soul

2008-07-23T10:48:00.004+01:00

The great Greek Philosopher Plato once said

"Music and rhythm find their way into the secret places of the soul” and the French poet/novelist Victor Hugo also said

“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent”

And I wont even disagree with them both. For I think we all have those secret places of the soul where we keep stock of all hidden emotions, good or bad and sometimes a song will tap into that epicentre, and you'll have conversations with yourself, or you'll crack a little smile or shed a little tear. I LOVE MUSIC!!That's why some songs are more popular than others, they connect with each one of us in one way or the other and yesterday I made a connection with Ne-yo's Miss Independent which has officially become Vixen's song of the year!!(if i change my mind dont vex o..lol). The connection came on Sunday I was going through my usual visits on Blogville and heard this song on YBF.com and I was hooked. I downloaded it straight away, it joins 'No-one like You' by P-Square on my most played lists.

Flashback Moment: A former man-friend(JT) used to always call me 'Little Miss Independent' and I thought of him when I heard Ne-yo's hit. I smiled and wondered how he is doing, actually I start wondering like Brian Macknight if I also cross his mind ANYTIME, like he had just managed to invade mine. History to JT: when I realised that a relationship with him wouldnt work, I walked away, it was that relationship (if I can even call it that) where you don't tell each other its over but you both know something in the gravy aint right, so I stepped and kept on stepping. I'm a believer in fighting for what's yours, trying to make things work and all BUT you both have to be on the same page, so there was no point in trying to salvage anything from the drowned Titanic. Now as I look I think that maybe it would have been good to say 'goodbye and good luck' or is it that I'm just feeling nostalgic because I heard this song and i took a trail down memories boulevard? No sweat, I've moved on but does breaking up always mean we dont become friends?Just because I aint freaking you, we cant laugh over the things we used to laugh at? I guess it depends on the situation, right?

My other ex Mr Luda (I'm no been-around-the-way-girl..lol), we cool! After I broke up with him we totally agreed to be friends and friends we remain. My friends call him my Mr Big(we rode the Break-up&Make-up bus quite a few too many times), but contrary to the movie, me and this Mr Big wont be living happily ever after. As much as I found it within me to be his friend, there was a part of me that never thought I'd call him a friend BUT I do. He's my Financial Adviser (for no fee), the only person who manages to beat me at a game of Connect Four (thats on a bad day..lol). . We're grown enough to put the past behind us and move on and appreciate the past, the lessons learned and there's no awkward moments. I see him as a friend, nothing more, no 'what if moments' or 'maybes'. But thats just me and him, not every-one is all honkey-dorey with their exes, sometimes the hurt goes beyond forgiving, sometimes people just want to forget and move on BUT do we ever completely forget? Or is it that we just move on, put those people in our 'never remember' memory banks until we get such a moment where we hear a statement, or like me a song, or a mutual person?

In an ideal world, we'd all be singing 'Kombaya' and be one happy bunch of exes and all BUT its never so. They do say 'Its a thin line between love and hate', for some people end up loathing each other, some have been heard muttering 'I wish he were dead', yess some feel so betrayed, hurt and angry that they wish death upon their ex. And unless you walked a mile in their shoes, had a taste of their relationship, we cant be throwing stones from our glass houses I suppose. Some do go the whole nine yards and kill BUT the majority step, some heal those old wounds, some lug around that baggage into the next relationship, some choose to have 'amnesia' BUT we all have the memories stacked up somewhere in the secret places of our souls!

The Greatest Sex!!

2008-07-20T22:42:00.009+01:00

Ok, ok, 2 posts all @ once,talk of having nothing to blog about..lol but my best friend, TeeTay suggested I put this up. We were having our usual daily chat (ok, the last one to say good night), and she was telling me how her new beau had laid the pipe, and she was thinking of getting him an Oscar! If it was to be compared with breakfast, this would be Full English, with champagne and caviar on the side..yup my gurl said it was THAT good! So she then asked me if I'd ever asked Blogsville about their 'greatest sex' ever! Hmm,so people, have you yet experienced that earth-shattering, mind-blowing, body-shaking, tongue-speaking, eye-rolling,toe-curling, Lord-calling, mama-cussing,body-smacking, arrest-warranting moments?(My girl, Afrobabe would describe this best i think..lol)If so care to share??LOL, yes Vixen is feeling a bit naughty..lol..and y'all this is one topic that makes my eyes shine well-well..LOL..what I'm saying is I'm comfortable enough to appreciate the sensuality of it all, I appreciate some good sex, aint no shame in that is there?? I'm sure if I was Naija I'd be an Akwa Ibom girl..lol..

Ok I'm now going to watch 'Our Song', with a young Kerry Washington..looks promising! xoxo

What's Ur Greatest Love-Making Song(s)?

2008-07-07T22:31:00.006+01:00

Now i think y’all know ShonaVixen loves her music and also loves doing it, and doing it well. And so some-time ago, me and Mr Man partied like rockstars, sexed like p$&n-stars, we made ‘magic’!..lol..nway afterwards as my ipod was serenading us, we started wondering what was the greatest s.e.x., love-making, make you say my,my,my song..we couldn’t honestly name the song! My playlist has been updated with some of the songs we both agreed on that were playing on my ipod and well his favorite song is H-town's Knocking Da Boots..its his come hither song to ShonaVixen..lol. And my song to him was Tweet's Oops Oh My..very good as each piece of clothing comes of..lol..When one thinks of some great love-making singers some that come to mind are :

Joe - And Then.(oooh)
En Vogue - Don't Let Go (Love)
R. Kelly - Sex in The Kitchen
Tyrese - hmmm he has some sexified songs
Toni Braxton
Beyonce
Gerald Levert - G-Spot

Ok y'all tell me your songs!!

TAGGED!

2008-06-25T21:18:00.008+01:00

I knew it was only a matter of time before i got tagged. Hugs and kisses to L'amour for tagging moi..lol..well here it goes, hope i done it well.

Rules:1. Put Your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?

Drop It Like Its Hot - Snoop..yeah that's something I'd say..lol..

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

Faithfull - Morgan Heritage...wow this is so true, so true..

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL ?

Tell Me - Bobby Valentino...yeah I like to know what they've got to say..lol..

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Crazy Kind of Love - Mario - wow, I guess this is true, I got a text from HIM and it made me think he has to be my soul mate, crazy kind of love

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?

Every Little Step I take - Bobby Brown...hmmm...every little step I take has an effect on the bigger picture..

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Lost Without You - Robin Thicke, wow, this is so true, my friends know I got their backs and am always there for them!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

Nothing Compares - Jennifer Hudson...yes, nothing compares to ma moms and pops!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

She Aint Got the Boom Like I do - Blaque..whoa, am I that vain?Yes I am, I just think m the sugar.honey.iced.tea..lol

WHAT IS 2+2?

Brown Eyes - Destiny's Child..lol..2+2 = Brown Eyes..what more can I say, i love them brown eyes

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Back at One - Brian McKnight - whoa she should see this!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

69 - T-Pain..hmmm...should i say more???

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Work - Kelly Rowland - wow...tryna change this

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

I'll Still Love You - Musiq Soulchild...speechless

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

No One - Alicia Keys, yeah only daughter so yeah!!..lol..

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Gimme some - Toni Braxton...yeah, I needs to get mine, if he be a nympho then i be a nympho..lol..

WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING ?

This is Love (My Story) - Kelly Rowland...hmm maybe i will dance to this other than My Drink n My 2 Step that we talked about..lol..

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Falsetto - The Dream...really i aint that obsessed wiv doing the do..lol...

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Roses - Mary J Blige...yeah I've started taking care of the rose on my balcony so maybe but i really aint green-fingered!

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

I wanna Know - Joe..hmm i guess i'd like to know my own secret too..

WHAT DO YOUR THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Get It Shawty - Lloyd...yeah, they're all go getters!!

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?

Exclusive (No Excuses) - Day 26...rightfully so i guess

To His Excellency With Love

2008-06-24T20:56:00.002+01:00

Firstly I would like to thank you for fighting in the liberation struggle, for the years you spent wanting to liberate us, for when our grandparents were treated like third class citizens, you fought for all that to end and well on the 18th of April 1980, Rhodesia became Zimbabwe. A strong nation and well didn’t they all love you then? The darling of Africa they affectionately called you! Mr President, I’m not political so really I wont go into the ins and outs, the hows and whys, I’m just a concerned woman, who would want to return to her home country some time soon and actually finish building my dream home, for you see Mr President, with the rate of inflation its become so difficult for me to finish my ‘mansion’ which is just like those you see on cribs. I would also want to hear that my lil niece’s school fees didn’t go up for the third time this year. And that my sister managed to decorate her kitchen the way she really wants to! That my dearest KB isn’t having problems finding fuel for his car. Do you get the drift of this letter? Maybe not, because you probably are able to do all these things with no problems.

Well, you have been in power since I was a toddler, but then President Dos Santos has been in power for 29 years, so I wont dwell on the length of years you’ve been in power. But, I think its time to let some-one who can lead us lead, you were the one my parents chose, they adored you, can you allow us the chance to adore some-one else? No, Mr President I’m not questioning your ability to lead at your age, how dare I? All I’m saying is Mr President is there has been a brain-drain from our beloved nation, the ones that have stayed aren’t enjoying it at all, yes there’s a few but thats just it..a few! Can you allow us to accumulate our own wealth in our own nation? I heard you tonight on the Channel Four news saying that ‘only God can take you off the highest seat’, hmmm...I’ve decided to fast for the next few days and intense prayer! And once more, I don’t doubt your ability, but can you allow the Zimbabweans to have a leader of their choice? Can they also not fear being beaten, raped and all that..yes..i totally understand propaganda but there’s no smoke without a fire ne?

Dearest Sir, I would like to hear good news for once, its tough for me Mr President, I have to support myself, pay my uni fees, buy myself them killa heels, support my family back home and my extended family and then I get constant emails begging me for money from my grandmother’s uncle’s nephew’s sister, it aint easy your Excellency. The electricity is always going off, dark cities, everything is just expensive (everything costs beyond the million mark),insufficient food, lack of medicines in the hospitals and a shortage of anti-retroviral medicines to hold Aids at bay.. Sir, look the stress this caused to South Africa and resulted in the xenophobic attacks. Your Excellency, I think its best to leave when the nation respects you instead of fear you. But then who am I? You obviously have your cronies advising you, BUT sir, we the young people are grateful for the whole era before 1980, can you now allow us to rebuild this nation that has now collapsed. Yes, I said collapsed, because in my eyes it has, everything has changed and its not for the better. Maybe if you just step down, it will change. I think the ZanuPF campaign slogan is along the lines of ‘all good things are possible’..right now the best thing possible would be for you to resign. We will still respect you, and mostly we will appreciate your bold move.

I know that once more you said only God could make you leave your seat, but Mr President what about the cries of your young nation? Dont we amount for anything? Maybe we’ll pray that God will speak to you in your dreams and you’ll do this noble and brave move for all of us. Thank you in advance and hey, if its too much to ask of you, how about you just hold back on Friday’s elections?

In Celebration of Fathers!!

2008-06-12T12:52:00.018+01:00

Since Sunday is Father's Day, I thought why not celebrate our celeb dads...

Daper Dad - Diddy and his family

Hot Chocolate Dad - Blair and family

HOTTT Dad - LL Cool J and daughters

Sexy & Talented Dad - Denzel and son Malcolm

Mogul daddy - Diddy with the twins (yeah, I did post him twice!)

Mogul daddy - Russell Simmons with Aoki Lee and Ming Lee

Premiership dad - Claude Makelele and son

Mega-bucks Soccer dad - Becks and boys

MVP Dad - Kobe and his girls

Funny Dad - Chris Rock and the girls

Comedy dad - Donald Faison and son

Hmmm 'crazy' dad - Flavor Flav with baby-mamma and Karma (gotta love that name though)

The OG Hip-hop Dad - Rev Run and the latest addition to the Simmons family...gotta love them!

These men all look great!Nothing is much more sexier than a responsible man, standing by his kids and raising them. To the fathers out there, I'll forever shout out praises to you, for doing right by your kids! And to my pops, I love you dad, thanking you for being my hero & being my friend and I'll forever be daddy's lil girl...mazirudo baba!

Feeding My Addiction

2008-05-27T12:32:00.006+01:00

Hi, my name is ShonaVixen and I'm a shoe addict. I love shoes, and finding the right pair that screams out 'ShonaVixen, ShonaVixen' is darn near orgasmic! I work for my money and my shoes are a way of rewarding myself and so what if i I reward myself every week!!Shoes are definitely my weakness, and if a shoes 'talks' to me, I get it no matter the price. And like Amy I say 'No, No, No!' there's no rehab for this addiction and I aint stopping any time soon!
What is your addiction?
I so love these Babyphatness shoes!They scream out fabulosity at a very affordable price!!!

House of Dereon fabness

Zebra-print is a must have and these Karen Millen shoes live up to it!

I love these Maria Arellano's as they are not too high and look well cute!

Christian Loubitin Rodita Zip sandals

Jimmy Choo...oooh la la la!

The numbers of lives lost rise to 23!!

2008-05-20T16:53:00.003+01:00

Zimbabweans and other foreign nationals living in the Johannesburg suburbs of Hillbrow, Yeoville, Berea and Braamfontein have joined forces to repel attacks by marauding locals. The foreign nationals have warned that if they become the next targets of the current wave of xenophobic attacks, they will retaliate. In Hillbrow on Sunday, hundreds of people from Nigeria, Cameroon, Zimbabwe, Zambia and Malawi united in a show of solidarity with victims of the violence. Collectively they managed to thwart efforts of South African criminals in Hillbrow on Sunday, who tried to loot their shops, internet cafes and other personal belongings, under the guise of xenophobic violence.

“This is no longer an issue of folding hands and doing nothing when our relatives are being butchered and maimed,” said Okeke Okuchukwu, a Nigerian citizen in Yeoville.

South African President Thabo Mbeki on Monday reiterated his call for an immediate end to attacks on foreign nationals.

"Citizens from other countries on the African continent and beyond are as human as we are and deserve to be treated with respect and dignity," the president said. "We dehumanise ourselves the moment we start thinking of another person as less human than we are simply because they come from another country."

Tshedi Mholo, the lead singer from Afropop group Malaika, radio hotshot Sibusiso ‘DJ Sbu’ Leope and kwaito star Doc Shebeleza were among a host of celebrities marching through the streets of Johannesburg to express their outrage yesterday. DJ Sbu said: "We must say no to the killings. The violence is ridiculous.”

This really should stopped before the numbers keep rising and more lives are ended! I still wait to hear what the Zim politicians have to say. Mr President and Mr Tsvangirai can you please say something!! Lets pray that it stops, and soon!!

Oozzing Sexy, Fab & Glam in the City

2008-05-13T10:15:00.015+01:00

The premier for SATC - the movie was in London last night. The stars came out looking every inch of sexy!

All, well, well, which cosmopolitan woman isnt waiting for Wednesday 28 May? The movie Sex and The City will start showing in movie theatres all over. My girls and I have already marked that day in our diaries, we are going all out on that evening..as always..lol. Its hard to believe that the final episode was way back in 2004..wow time flies. And I know a fair amount of guys will be watching this movie too, and no their girls wouldnt have forced them to, deny it they might but they also watched the show. So right now its trying to remember whether Carrie does finally wed Mr Big, we all have questions about Charlotte and her baby, Miranda, Bradie and Steve, what about Samantha and Smith?. Talking of Mr Big, that just reminds of RKelly and Ron Isley

'This is Mr Bigg'

'How you doing Mr Bigg'

'What da hell is goin on ?'

'What you mean whats goin on?'...in the song Friend of Mine..ok sorry for side tracking..lol.

No matter how different the characters might have seem, women could relate because, we all are a blend of Carrie/Samantha/Miranda/Charlotte..a cocktail so to speak! It was just women connecting, no matter the colour.. I have been compared to Carrie by my girls..I think its because of my love for shoes..lol..

But seriously, do you women have a Mr Big in your lives and guys too a Ms Big?Just thinking about it all, how Carrie went through all the other guys to then be with Mr Big again, I wonder if there's always a Mr Big for every-one, that one person who made such an impact and whom you will always fondly care about. And given the chance, ceteris paribus, you'd be with them. Do share

Ekhaya is Ekhaya!

2008-05-12T13:31:00.001+01:00

I'm literally wiping the tears from my eyes!!To all you my diaspora kids..this is for us! For reals dai ndiri shiri...We come here, to make a better lives for ourselves. We meet new people, some have met their loves away from home, learn about different cultures, make life long friendships but never do we forget our roots and homeland! Its made us who we are, they way we talk and we hustle for a better day. So y'all ma 'diaspora kids' I say i respect your hustle, you keep doing you and dont forget where you came from! Ekhaya is ekhaya!

The Learn Something New Today Challenge!

2008-05-08T13:52:00.010+01:00

So, reading through another blog there was mentioning of Ciara dating a relative of Al Mudi,and since i didnt know who the heck this guy was I did what any normal human being would do. Googled him baby! And then I had the 'Well i never' look on my face as I learnt about these folks

Mohammed Al Amoudi is the richest black man in the world! Born in Ethiopia and now a Saudi citizen, Al Amoudi made his fortune in construction and real estate before betting on Swedish and Moroccan oil refineries. His Svenska Petroleum conducts oil exploration from the Nordic shelf to the Ivory Coast. He is the largest private investor in Ethiopia, putting money into such diverse assets as a hotel, gold mines and a food processing plant. Forbes Magazine 2008 ranked him at no. 77 richest folk in the world and he is a net worth of $9 billion.

Alahaji Aliko Dangote is the second richest black person in the world! Yes, he's richer than Oprah! His current net worth is estimated to be around $3.3billion. At age 21, Dangote borrowed some money from his uncle and became a trader. He eventually built his Dangote group into a conglomerate with interests in sugar, flour milling, cement and salt processing. He hit the jackpot and became his nation's first billionaire, when his sugar production company listed on the Nigerian stock exchange last year. Plans to take his cement and flour businesses public have stalled.

Now you know we had to have a brotha from the Southern parts representing us right!! Johannesburg mining magnate Patrice Motsepe is South Africa's first black billiionaire and his net worth is a whopping $2.4billion. Motsepe became the first black partner at Johannesburg's Bowman Gilfillan law firm, before starting a low-level conracting business doing mine scutt work. Bought low-producing gold mine shafts in 1994, turned them profitable using lean, mean management style. Since then, built $875 million (sales) mining conglomerate, African Rainbow Minerals (ARM), with interests in a wide swath of minerals: precious metals (platinum and its cousins), nickel, chrome, iron, manganese and coal.

Well folks I hope this Vixen taught you something new today.If you didnt know..now you know!!

No Definition ...No Dating

2008-05-06T12:09:00.002+01:00

This weekend, due to incidents that some of my girlfriends went through, it seems its now near to impossible to date in 2008! It seems there is an unwritten code of this 'No Definition' thing going on, where you are unsure of the next step, whether you are actually a couple, if you can see other people or just generally where you stand. Yes undefined status can be ok for those looking to be B.U.D.D.Ys and all but for some-one looking for a relationship it can be emotionally tiring. So should you ask that question 'what's going on'? which however is normally responded to with the answer 'lets just go with the flow'!Now what the f*ck is the darn FLOW! Getting some booty on the regular?Going on dates?Heck, this is never defined too!! And how about the ones that vibe with a sexy, suave, debonair, so-good-you-could-call him 'Chocolate' type of brotha, you all hook up on the first date, you've been called stuck up and old skool so you let your inhibitions go on that first date. There's plenty of tonsil tennis action, he moves every single nerve in you, kisses so endearing and wishing they could last, and you sense the same, this action is reciprocal or is it just in your mind?Because after that first date, nada phonecalls, text messages, emails, facebook poking i mean zilch communication is happening here! So you then have a sista wondering was she then 'too forward' or did she say something wrong during that time they spent together? I'm really starting to wonder what the hell is going on the heads of the men in London? I have run out of trying to explain their behaviour to questioning girlfriends..shuut i grew up in a household full of boys BUT this i cant decipher! But one thing i do say to my girls is, he wasnt worth shit!! It aint no male bashing but just the honest truth. Nothing seems to be what it is now. And if i ever meet a man who's going to spit that lame 'Go with the flow' line i'mma show him the darn flow..lol..But seriously i doubt if its just London males it seems its our era, any guy btwn the ages of 26 - 36yrs, and he black, professional and 'single' has some issues. Why did i say 'single' because thats actually another posting on its own! I have always said music speaks to me and i felt this song by Mario actually would go with this post! But i say, every sista out there, if you're unsure of where you stand with a guy, then you're probably not dating! New motto..No Definition = No Dating..lol..Moral of the post being? Communicate, straighten it out from the get go, thus avoiding unnecessay self-doubt and self-examinations!

Kwame's Texts Come Haunting

2008-04-30T12:21:00.007+01:00

Detroit's Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick's(who looks like a young Gerald Levert) scandal carries on. Kwame was elected mayor of Detroit at 31, the youngest ever in the history of Detroit and also the only mayor to be charged with a felony whilst still in office!On March 24, 2008, Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy announced a 12-count criminal indictment against Kilpatrick and former Detroit Chief of Staff Christine Beatty, charging Kilpatrick with eight felonies and Beatty with seven. Charges for both included perjury, misconduct in office and obstruction of justice. Worthy also suggested that others in the Kilpatrick administration could also be charged. Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his chief of staff lied about their relationship last summer at a police whistle-blower trial that has cost the cash-strapped city more than $9 million. The texts are from way back in 2003! Here's a sample of their text messages

CB: “LOL! Nig*a, I already claimed it! KCK 2012. You told me that you would be my boyfriend everyday until I was your wife. Are you renigging?

KK: “Hell no! Don’t Start none. Won’t be none niggette! LOL!”

CB: “I Look forward to it. It’s official, I need a night, how about you…

KK: “Sh*t I need it real bad. My nig*a! I love you you know that.”

The full script can be found here Women, we text too damn much!! Thats why i have resolved never to text,email or even write any-one unless otherwise necessary and i can defend my words!! Yeah, its all talk from now..literally..LOL